Your Clown

You eroded the walls

of my heart.

Flooded each chamber

with your sweet poison.

Still, you linger within.

Haunting, stinging, hurting.

My blood boils

and my spit turns to bile.

I no longer see the smiles

in couples faces.

I no longer feel love

in an embrace.

Still tortured by the

very thought of you.

The meals, the getaways;

Those perfect evenings

Together.

It all meant shit to you.

Now, you mean shit to me.

And yet still,

I find room to love you.

And I hate that.

I reflect in mirrors

and curse your name.

Exorcising myself

from your chains.

Yet, they still bind me.

And the more I struggle

to be free,

The more I am shackled down.

A heartless,

Cold,

Cynic.

Forever in love.

Your fool.

Your clown.