Writing

I used to write a lot. At first, I wrote because I was learning. It was strange and difficult at first, but it was also new and exciting. Then, writing became a requirement. That was a drag. However, it diminished the physical process of writing to near non-existence. Once writing became automatic, I started doing it because it was fun; I was able to express myself far better through written word than through spoken. Eventually, though, I wrote because I could advance no farther in life unless I continued to do so. That was a drag, too. I finally reached a point where I felt I had written all I needed. Then, I stopped. For years. Of course, I still write. As a gainfully employed member of modern society, writing just...comes up, from time to time. But the desire was no longer present. I was not writing, but rather recording, or better yet, transcribing dry and mechanical thoughts into clear, crisp, and equally dry inkblots. This is my thought. This is my thought on paper. Any questions?

It has been seven years since I did any free writing. Now, I have resolved to start again. Never were my thoughts more clear than when I wrote for fun. I used to especially love writing songs, but I'm not sure I still have that in me. The music in my head is no longer trying to beat its way out. Maybe it's just sleeping. I still have poetic thoughts, though, and those need to get out. Keeping them bottled up creates a type of mental chaos that is not pleasant. I want to make stories. I want to create. I want to dissolve the barrier I've built up over the years through suppressing beauty in lieu of pragmatism. More than anything, I want to regain control of my emotional life. I was once able to paint pictures with words by channeling my emotions effectively. I believe I can do it again, and this is step one.