COPING WITH GENERAL BETRAYAL
Let’s begin with the simple meaning of the word BETRAYAL from the English Dictionary:
- “the act of not being loyal when other people believe you are loyal.”
- “violation of a person's trust or confidence, of a moral standard.”
The etymology of the word is:
Early 13th Century: “violate by unfaithfulness, mislead, deceive, delude, a violation of confidence.”
Have YOU every been betrayed? In you personal Life, in your business Life? It would be rare to find someone who has not experienced this type of treachery. It’s hurtful, it’s damaging, and it’s long-lasting. The emotional trauma manifests in both Mind and body. Being betrayed, is a traumatic experience, and not one to easily get passed. It can manifest in emotional and physical illness.
Once someone has betrayed you, it is difficult to simply forgive and forget. Though we are told forgiveness is not about the other person, but about releasing the burden that WE personally carry. Still, a difficult task, no?
“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart ... and the wound lasts a lifetime.”
- Mineko Iwasaki
“It is easier to forgive an enemy, than to forgive a friend.”
- William Blake
“Only those you trust can betray you.”
- Terry Goodkind
The act of betrayal has been around since the beginning of mankind, and his thirst for money, power, and greed continues to feed its existence, and growth. Though Karma will eventually catch up with the offender, it may take much longer than we are willing to wait.
Personally, I have been betrayed many times in my Life. Relational betrayal from lifestyle, to business. It is painful and not so easy to let go of. I once spent five years chasing down a business partner who betrayed me. I went through the court system, only to be told “move on with your life” at the final hearing. You see, his Lawyer, was now a high ranking official in the State legal system. I had lost the battle, before it even began. The entire hearing was like a bad dream. More of a nightmare.
I did however, have a chance to talk with my ex-partner in the hearing room ... in front of his Counsel. I said to him “I played with your children, I slept in your home, I fed your dog, and I legitimately cared about your family. I considered you not only a business partner, but a friend as well.” He shrugged, and turned his head to leave. Crushed. I was simply crushed to say the least. Not one bit of remorse did he display.
That was nearly 40 years ago, and I can still recall everything as if it were yesterday. Why haven’t I put this down and walked away yet? It’s the burning scar, and the void that was created. “How could he do such a thing?” I ask repeatedly. But I’m coming to terms with how I deal with it. I do my best to replace those thoughts, with more positive and loving thoughts about Life.
I had an extensive 40+ year career in broadcasting and worked at countless radio stations and networks. There is no way I can count the times I had to deal with betrayal. In fact, I’m probably guilty of it as well. Nature of the beast I suppose. Competition, ratings, bonuses, and celebrity can twist reality into a different kind of experience. One in which people become anesthetized to their wrongdoings, and the ladder of success placed before them. I really wish there was a way people that I knew and worked with back then, could remember me not for who I was, but for who I have become.
More recently, I have been over-ruled and ignored in other business ventures. A different kind of betrayal. One in which my trust and confidence that someone else would actually agree with me and align themselves with my reasoning would be tried again, and again. Rather than consideration for ALL who are involved, there was only self-consideration without the care of others and how it would affect them on a grander scale. It was a display of money, power, and greed. This MPG combination has brought down many a man.
So then, what do we do about it?
Put your energy into bringing yourself closer to where you want to be. Let’s say we each get 100 gallons of fuel at the start of each day. Where will you spend yours? Do you want to burn your fuel settling scores, or would you rather create the Life and business you truly desire?
Each gallon spent on negative thoughts or actions toward people who betrayed me would take gallons away from the positive work I really desire. I work on choosing to direct my energy in ways that make my Life more fulfilling, and the lives of others. Its my desire to refuse to give a single gallon of energy to the negative events in my past. You can do the same.
In forgiving and healing yourself, you can use visualization, where you feel all of your energy returning to natural balance. Start at the top of your head and imagine wonderful healing energy coming in ... direct from Divine Source. Let this energy slowly move through your body as you feel it heal and empower you. Then, imagine that its going out through the soles of your feet into the ground, and then through the center of the earth, and finally release it into the Universe. In this way, you are creating a pure energy link that replenishes from the Divine Source.
All of us will have times of positive and negative events and issues through our lives. The sooner we learn to take responsibility for how we respond to events and turn them into a positive use of energy, the less we will suffer, and the more we will experience times of peace and joy. And along the way one never knows when what appears to be such a bad experience becomes the event that opens the door to manifest goodness.
The betrayal happened for a reason, so we could learn some hard lessons and then, move forward ... and look back only in reference. If we have trouble getting rid of our frustrations, try writing them out on a piece of paper and then burn them. Whatever your course of action, you need to start letting your negative feelings go, but not before learning from them. There is much to be gleaned, if you look hard enough. Listen to that still small voice within for Divine direction.
Just a thought ...
Justin Taylor, ORDM.