Unforgettable Love

Spoken word

I have three minutes here but this’ll only take a minute. I was fifteen when I gave my life to Jesus. Prayed a prayer and I thought I was fully in it. Like “God, let me just hold your hand for the rest of my life. It’s your love I’ll boldly proclaim.” But not much later my hair stylist was talking about how proud he is to be gay. I shunned every opportunity to share the gospel here, sat there silent as Jesus whispered in my ear… “he’s proud?.. but you’re afraid to even mention my name.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve wondered astray. Astray as in even Christians struggle with pornography. I mean like the moment my head hits the pillow the thought comes to taunt me. Like weights tied to my feet, it waits til I try to sleep. Time i need to flee.. But it’s not that easy. Started sending nudes when I was sixteen. I thought “oh well it’s only one time” but that one time turned into a routine. I don’t have to smoke or drink to know how it feels to be distant. My stubborn ways are consistent. Anything can be addictive. And Speaking of addictions I feel like I’d die without my phone. I’ve gone into puts-down-bible-to-check-Instagram mode. I haven’t prayed in a while and it shows.

I crouched down in my bathroom crying… I’d rather die than ask a perfect and loving father to forgive me. Haven’t forgotten that he’s still holding my hand. I see grace through the holes in his hands. Jesus would rather die than leave me unforgiven and i don’t get it. It’s that kind of grace that I don’t understand. About time I start giving the devil some credit. He doesn’t like that the kingdom of God is part of my genetics. Like as long as i believe in God, the devil looks pathetic.

You need to get this… Jesus died for your worst days. Your good days are great! But I’m talking about those nights that pornography kept you up late. Take it from a Christian that took the devil’s bate. I’m talking about how you think getting high every weekend is your fate. but keep in mind it’s not you, it’s the sin He hates. A recipe for disaster the enemy creates. Don’t be the first to taste. Doesn't even have to be drugs! Maybe you’re just not trusting Him enough. Does the verse “my grace is sufficient for you” ring a bell? So stop hiding, stop trying to cover it up and tell the devil to take the L, cause Jesus would rather die than watch you rot in hell.