Burgers:

You can almost compare having sex with different women to eating at various burger joints. Red Robin is the ginger who tastes good and is fun and knows how to party, but she's really popular and you're not quite convinced she's all that into you.

McDonald's, of course, is the all-American Sweetheart. Everyone loves her: you, your friends, your parents. You wonder, though, if she is really the worldly and intelligent woman you want to be with. Then there's the 5 Guys girl--the sporty tomboy who's loud and boisterous and who hasn't quite figured if she's a lesbian or not.

My first escapade, well, let's just say she was like White Castle. Fattening. Not all that tasty. Probably bad for my heath. Definitely not a meal I regularly admit to my friends I had. Like getting drunk and getting the munchies. I probably could've used better judgment that night.