May 21st

I slept on your memory the other day, where you hugged me & played with my hair just like you use to.

I opened my eyes & I was alone. No arms to wrap me, no hands to touch... your kiss is so far gone.

I guess I still I love you more than life it's self.

I want to stop believing that you are the past my fingers touched

Why are you still roaming my mind?

I've spent days thinking of you and I don't yet understand why you make everything spin.

I had no reason to believe your pride would tear my world.

I confused reality with a moment of your time how ironic

Because even tho everything is okay and well my mind doesn't stop racing

And life sometimes catches up to me and it reminds me that even when I walk through the world without looking back your eyes I can not erase.

My mind needs peace but your memory brakes me again

The silence is so strong that it starts missing your absence and it feels like a nightmare and I can't wake up.

And in silence I start to doubt

I look at the sky and I ask the world for answers to what's eating me inside... I tell myself to not give up hope to keep trying to keep living but what's the point if on days like this I wake up without you next to me & I can only have you when I close my eyes. Your love is toxic and I find myself surrounded with distance and strings that tug me to another piece written about you.

And I find myself walking with tears falling

I want to tear all your questions I keep trying to figure out all the lies that still make me cry.

I lose my balance and my steps lead without explanation.

And the distance of my progress is too much that I have forgotten that I already learned how to be alone to live and breath by myself. So anxiety attacks when you roam my mind and I start missing you and my center shakes and I wake up again and I'm alone. To a dream with a first and a last name that haunt my drinks of bitter liquor that don't let me forget that I still love you, & miss you.