Note for Jax July 24

Losing my dad was one of the hardest experiences I've ever faced, and I sincerely hope you won't have to endure such a loss for a very long time. The pain and grief was profound, but in the wake of that tragedy, I gained some invaluable insights and forged stronger relationships. One of the most significant positives that emerged is the strengthened bond with my mother. I can't fully express how important and meaningful our relationship has become since my dad passed away. We talk on the phone every day, sharing every aspect of our lives with each other. There's nothing she doesn't know about me, whether she wants to hear it or not. Our understanding of each other has deepened in ways that words can hardly capture. Seeking my mother's affection and comfort after my dad's death brought us closer, and through that, I gained a best friend.

The relationship you will have with your mother will undoubtedly be different from our relationship, and that's perfectly okay. It's not a competition, and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone, not even to us. What I hope for us is to have open and honest communication, much like what I have with my mother. I had a great relationship with my dad, and perhaps it would have evolved into something similar to my relationship with my mom if he were still here. While he was alive, I was very close to him. He was my hero, the person I aspired to be like. But he didn’t know the real me. I was afraid to show him the sides of myself I wasn’t particularly proud of, the thoughts and feelings I feared he wouldn’t appreciate. I wasn't trying to be a different person, but in a way, I was. I wasn't fully myself around him. I think that's how many children are with their parents. I was the same with my mom until my dad passed away.

If there were a perfect formula for parenting and building healthy relationships with your children, I would study it diligently until I mastered it. However, we must rely on our experiences, and my experience has taught me that communication is the key to good relationships. I can't express enough how much your mother means to me. Beyond the unexplainable, enthralling attraction, it's our deep understanding of each other that binds us. We were friends before lovers, and our connection came at a perfect time in our lives. We got to know each other well, and when you unveil yourself to someone you care about, it cultivates a strong bond. Being open and honest with someone, even just a friend, is essential. It doesn't have to be a physical attraction; it can be a deep connection with a friend.

I was very open with your mother. I was okay just being around her. Being in her presence made me happy. I didn't think I deserved a person as genuine and honest as she was. She was way too cheerful and literally had a light that shone from within her. I was dark and cynical. So, I understood she was out of my reach, but we could still be friends. That realization is what eventually allowed me to be with her. By being her friend, we communicated differently. She had preconceived notions about me, but when she got to know the real me, she realized I was capable of love, responsibility, and genuine emotions. I've heard that owning a winter coat makes you look like you have your life together, and maybe that's all it took. That might have been the only thing I felt I had going for me to deserve someone as amazing as your mother.

I've also learned to cherish the small, seemingly insignificant moments. These moments, the ones that often go unnoticed, are what make life truly beautiful. Whether it's a quiet morning with a cup of coffee, a walk in the park, or a simple conversation with a friend, these are the moments that bring true joy and contentment. Make time for these moments and appreciate them fully.

I have a deeper appreciation for life. I value moments that might otherwise seem insignificant. Take time to appreciate the small things—the cool breeze on a hot day, the songs of birds, and the fresh scents carried by the wind. Don't give yourself to too many people. A socialite might have many acquaintances but few true friends. Focus on building a core group of 3-5 close friends with whom you can have meaningful conversations. It's good to be social, but keep some part of yourself private.

In terms of friendships, it's crucial to surround yourself with people who truly understand and support you. A small, close-knit group of friends can provide the emotional support and companionship that larger social circles often lack. These are the people you can have deep, meaningful conversations with, who will stand by you in times of need, and who will celebrate your successes with genuine happiness.

It's also important to be selective about who you let into your inner circle. Not everyone deserves to know your deepest thoughts and feelings. Protect your emotional well-being by being cautious about who you trust. It's okay to be friendly and social, but keep some parts of yourself reserved for those who have proven their loyalty and understanding.

I want you to understand the importance of appreciating the people in your life while they're still here. Life is unpredictable, and you never know when you might lose someone you love. Take the time to express your love and gratitude to those who matter to you. Don't wait for a special occasion; every day is an opportunity to show your appreciation.

I will always be open and honest with you, sharing everything unless you're too young to understand. If there's one thing I hope to give you, it's a great relationship with your mother and me. In addition to communication, I believe that understanding and empathy are crucial for any relationship. Being able to see things from someone else's perspective and genuinely care about their feelings can make all the difference.

Your mother and I have built our relationship on a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. We were friends before anything else, which allowed us to connect on a deeper level. We were able to share our thoughts, dreams, and fears with each other without judgment. This openness created a strong bond that has only grown over time. When you have the opportunity to open up to someone you care about, take it. It might feel vulnerable, but it's worth it. Being honest and open with someone, whether it's a friend or a partner, cultivates a bond that can withstand life's challenges. Trust is built through this openness, and once trust is established, the bond becomes almost unbreakable.

I had to confront my insecurities and fears of being judged. But every time I share a piece of myself, your mother responded with kindness and understanding. Her reactions reinforced my belief that she was someone I could trust with my deepest thoughts and feelings. Over time, this mutual understanding and respect became the relationship.

Another aspect of my relationship with your mother that I cherish is our ability to grow together. I’ve faced my fair share of challenges and changes over the years, but she always supports me. I hope I am giving her everything she needs, while trying to be better everyday. I support anything she wants to do, and try to help when I can. This mutual support has allowed us to grow individually and as a couple. It's important to find someone who is willing to grow with you, who will stand by you through thick and thin, and who will help you become the best version of yourself.

I will always be here for you, offering guidance and support. My hope is that you will develop a great relationship with both your mother and me, one built on trust, open communication, and mutual respect. If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's to always be true to yourself. Authenticity is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Be honest about who you are, what you believe in, and what you feel. This honesty will attract the right people into your life and create the deep, lasting connections that make life so rich and fulfilling.

What matters most is the love and connections we share with others. The relationships we build, the memories we create, and the love we give and receive are what make life worth living. Cherish these relationships and hold them close. They are the true pleasures of life.

Remember that I'm always here for you, ready to listen, support, and guide you in any way I can. Your mother and I love you more than words can express, and we are committed to being the best parents we can be. Our goal is to provide you with a loving, supportive environment where you can thrive and become the amazing person we know you are destined to be.

Take my words to heart, and carry them with you as you journey through life. Build strong, meaningful relationships, appreciate the small moments, and always be true to yourself. These principles will guide you toward a fulfilling and happy life. And no matter what, know that you are loved deeply and unconditionally.