I Can't Sleep Alone

Harry hates sleeping alone. He's always hated it. It probably has something to do with the fact that he doesn't sleep well when it's cold.

And someone else's body heat keeps it from getting too cold.

He prefers it when it's not so hot that he's sweating, but when it's not so cold that he needs more than one blanket. Sleeping with another person makes the bed the perfect temperature. The body heat warms him up and if he has the AC on just right then the air will balance the temperature out.

And there's something about Niall's body heat that just fits all the requirements so, so perfectly.

To put it bluntly, Harry hates sleeping without Niall.

This started a few months before the two of them started dating. Harry would always be coming to Niall's hotel room to sleep when they were on tour.

Harry really enjoyed sleeping with Niall, who was so cozy and warm and so easy to get comfortable with. Niall felt the same for Harry, who was really comfortable, he liked the way Harry would hold him while he slept, running his fingers through Niall's hair.

After a while things started to get a little more serious. Niall realized this when he'd wake up with his hard-on pressed against Harry's hip, and he'd quickly change positions, hoping Harry hadn't noticed.

Two weeks later Harry brought the question up, "Niall," he murmured into the smaller boy's hair.

"Harry?" Niall asked.

Harry sat up, eyes watching Niall's face intently looking for a change in emotion, "What is this?" he asked.

Niall sat up, bearing a confused expression, "what is what?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "you know what I mean," he said, gesturing between the two of them and the bed, "This. Us."

Niall paused, "oh," he said. "I don't know," he said, running a hand through his hair. He was sure he had feelings for Harry, he'd always had feelings for Harry, but he didn't know if the younger boy felt the same. He decided to take a safe route, hinting but not quite saying it yet. He shrugged at Harry, "I guess it's whatever you want it to be."

Harry hesitated, before slowly lying back down on the bed. Niall curled back up to him, fisting Harry's shirt. Harry quietly nibbled at his nails nervously thinking, until Niall fell asleep, his breathing becoming steady.

Niall had woken up that morning to an empty bed. He yawned lazily . He could hear jazz music coming from downstairs, and he could smell eggs Benedict wafting from the kitchen. He smiled quietly to himself, rolling out of bed, shuffling out of the bedroom and stumbling down the stairs.

In the kitchen Harry had started plating his breakfast. Smiling at Niall, he handed him a cup of coffee. "Perfect timing," he said, giving Niall his bright smile that crinkled his eyes and gave him dimples, "I was just about to wake you."

Pausing after he plated Niall's eggs, Harry turned to Niall, clearing his throat and said, "I've been thinking about what you said last night." Niall look at Harry inquisitively. "What was that?" he asked.

Harry smiled sheepishly at Niall, who cocked his head in response. "About how this could be what I wanted it to be," Harry said, flipping his hair and smiling cheekily, "I was just wondering what you meant."

Niall shrugged, "What do you think it meant?"

Harry blushed, fiddling with the sleeves on his jumper, "I dunno," he mumbled, "the way you said it made it sound like you fancy me."

Somehow Niall, unlike Harry, managed to keep his cool in moments like this; moments where things could get awkward. He tentatively stepped towards Harry, hoping this was the right move, he placed his mug on the counter and scratching at the back of his neck. Harry suddenly found a huge fascination with the floor, he denied himself eye contact.

"And if I did fancy you?" Niall whispered, using two fingers to pull Harry's chin up to look at him in his emerald eyes, "what would you want this to be?"

Harry had an embarrassed smile plastered to his face, giving him huge dimples. "More," he whispered, his face growing an even darker shade of red, "I want us to be real, be a thing."

Niall wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, letting his finger slip through Harry's hair, "That's good with me, Haz," he murmured, before pulling Harry down for a slow and sweet first kiss.

Several months later the band was on break, and Niall was in Ireland visiting family. Harry had just gotten back from Holmes Chapel after a week with his parents. Upon his return he found himself faced with an empty house.

Usually, Niall would be here or he would be at Niall's. It never really mattered to them if they lived together, they were rarely home and they both had to much stuff they couldn't bear to part with, and they couldn't store it all in one house.

Harry wasn't the type of person to get bored easily, he always somehow found some way to occupy his time. But for some reason, everything seemed to bore him. Even things he would've done on his own, like reading or cooking didn't seem exciting anymore. He was beginning to feel lonely, and he counted down the days until Niall would get home.

Sleeping was the worst, the absence of his boyfriend caused the bed to feel unusually cold, and he feels like there's too much space. Niall's presence left a certain amount of space to be perfect for cuddling, without him there it feels off, every time Harry rolls over he keeps expecting to find the edge of the bed, but he's just left with more space.

This leaves him with countless hours of laying awake, incredibly uncomfortable in the large and freezing bed. His mind drifts back to the night he first slept with Niall.

It had been way too cold in the tour bus through England, the outside cold having frozen the air vents during their latest performance, and Harry and Niall couldn't sleep. They both shivered in their respective beds. Niall having packed on three blankets yet still freezing, thanks to his thin build he had issues concerning body temperature. Harry didn't enjoy massive weight being thrown on him, so he always opted for one blanket, which was clearly not enough. "Harry?" Niall whispered against his pillow. "Yes?" Harry asked, turning his head towards the isle so his voice would carry better.

"'S too cold," Niall replied, his voice shaky from shivering, "C- can't sleep."

Harry sighed, "I know."

A few moments later Harry heard shifting from the other side of the curtain, which was then pulled open by the blonde. Harry pulled back, shocked, "Ni- what- what're you doing?"

Niall clambered into Harry's bunk, collapsing on top of the younger one. Any other way Harry would've accepted the embrace kindly, but this was exactly the kind of thing he didn't want, he felt small under Niall, regardless if the smaller boy's weight. Harry lightly pushed at Niall, who made a noise of refusal.

"Dammit Niall," he whispered, "let me move you a bit."

Niall complied, and got out of the bunk before Harry did, then reentered before Harry, who rolled Niall onto his side, with his back pressed to Harry's chest. Harry shielded Niall from the cold, but at the same time Niall's heat kept him from getting too cold as well.

"This is nice," Harry whispered against Niall's neck, and Niall hummed sleepily in response. It wasn't long until the two of them fell asleep.

It took Harry a good hour or two of tossing and turning before he could fall asleep without Niall there.

The days dragged on. It eventually got to the say before Niall got back. Harry found himself unable to sit still, he was constantly needing to clean something, he felt as though the house needed to be spotless for his boyfriend.

That night was the worst, Harry slept a total of two hours, his mind was alight with thoughts of Niall.

He couldn't stop thinking about the first time they both couldn't sleep. It had been right after their last performance in Mexico City at Foro Sol stadium during their Take Me Home tour.

After singing to a total of about 60,000 fans, their post-show syndrome was the worst yet. Thankfully, they managed to get a hotel for the night so they would have more comfortable beds to attempt sleep in.

It had been a little over a year since they started dating. Upon entering the hotel room, both boys decided they weren't going to be able to sleep for a while, and they needed to tone it down a bit.

Niall plugged his phone into the charger and set up his portable Bluetooth speaker on the nightstand. He selected his "Cool Down" playlist, hitting play as Midnight City by M83 began playing.

Harry began giggling as Niall grabbed his hands, forcing the two of them to jump up and down to the music. Using a water bottles as their microphones, they sang along to the song.

Harry began making rude gestures with his bottle, and Niall cocked an eyebrow. "I see how it is," he laughed, pulling Harry towards him and kissing him deeply. Harry smiled into the kiss, walking Niall back against the wall behind him. The smaller boy reached up and played with the hair at the base of Harry's neck, his other had pressed up against his head, his fingers intertwined with Harry's, whose other hand was being used to pull Niall's waist in closer. Harry released Niall's hand coming down to lift Niall up by his legs. Niall wrapped them around Harry's waist and let his hands run messily through Harry's hair. Harry backed up against the bed, sitting down and letting Niall push him into a lying postion, beginning to unbutton his shirt as Niall pulled his own over his head. Niall shook his head, pulling Harry's hands away, "I got it," he muttered, leaning down and mouthing at Harry's neck as his hands worked their way down his shirt. Harry sat up a bit to let Niall pull his arms out of the sleeves. Niall sat there for a minute, running his hands over Harry's tattoos. He then leaned down and kissed them, first the birds, then the butterfly. Harry hummed in enjoyment. Niall mouthed at Harry's hips.

"Niall," Harry said.

Niall looked up at Harry through his golden eyelashes murmuring, "Mm?"

"We should probably at least try to sleep," he whispered, looking at the clock, it was 1 am, he turned back to Niall, "We have to get up at five."

Niall groaned, but crawled back up to rest his head on Harry's chest, muttering, "You're such a tease, Haz," but he was smiling regardless.

That was a great memory for Harry, one of the best.

Harry finally fell asleep around two in the morning, and he was wide awake by five.

He spent the day staring at either the blank television screen or the ceiling. If he was really feeling active he would turn the television on and stare at that, not bothering to follow the story of whatever was going on.

He got a short text from Niall around 8 that night, telling Harry

the plane was late getting there, so he just boarded, and he would be home in about two to three hours.

Harry just about lost it. Boredom had been tugging at him all day long.

He was feeling a strange mix of tiredness and excitement. Tired from his lack of sleep, and excited that his boyfriend was coming home and he wasn't going to be bored anymore.

Usually when they came back to the UK to visit family Niall would be the first one home, followed by Harry a few days later. But this time Niall's grandmother was in the hospital, and he had to stay a few more days to comfort her.

Without anything left to do, Harry went to bed. Actually, he just lied in bed waiting for Niall to come home.

He remembered one time he came home from visiting family and Niall was the one complaining of how boring it was. He just assumed it was because Niall couldn't get in touch with the other boys and he couldn't hang with Harry because Harry wasn't there. But now Harry gets it, the past five days he's stayed in contact with the other boys, with offers from Louis and Liam to come hang out. Harry just didn't feel up to it, he was "so tired" he kept "planning on taking naps" during the day, which was his excuse. In reality, he just continued to stare at walls.

Ten minutes from eleven, Harry heard the unmistakeable switch of a key in the lock. Followed by the sound of a door opening.

Harry heard Niall coming up the stairs with his duffel bag, muttering obscenities under his breath at the weight of his bags.

When he heard Niall drop his duffel at the door Harry sat up, and Niall screamed, falling back against the wall.

"DAMMIT HAZ! You scared me outta my skin!" He breathed.

Harry was biting back a laugh. "Sorry," he muttered, before he could hold it anymore and he started laughing.

Niall blushed, getting to his feet and pulling off his shirt as he made his was to the bed.

Harry, still laughing, made grabby hands at his boyfriend, who scoffed as he pulled off his jeans.

"You wouldn't be laughing if it was you," Niall muttered.

He clambered onto the bed, sitting on Harry's lap and pulling him down for a kiss.

Harry smiled into the kiss, extremely happy with the world. Niall hummed contentedly. "I missed you," he whispered.

Harry shook his head, "I missed you more," he replied, "it was just so boring."

Niall laughed, "I told you!"

Harry kissed him, "I discovered something while you were gone," he whispered against Niall's lips.

"Oh yeah?" Niall asked, "what's that?"

Harry pulled Niall to a lying position on the bed, and Niall curled up to him on his side, facing Harry, who whipsered, "I can't sleep without you."

Niall smiled sheepishly, intwining their fingers together, "Harry?" he said.

"Yeah?" Harry replied.

Niall looked at him, smiling mischieviously, "I love you," he said.

Harry giggled, leaning forward to kiss the smaller boy, "Niall?" he said.

Niall laughed, "Yes, Harry?"

Harry pulled their hands up, kissing Niall's knuckles, "I love you too," he whispered.

Harry slept better that night than he ever had before.