Note for Jax June 24

The world will be yours, you will conquer your fears and overcome any challenges. In a perfect world these are the things I hope for you.

Above all, my greatest hope is for you to become the person you truly want to be. I don't want to mold you into some preconceived notion I have of who you should be. You've inherited enough of my quirks and mannerisms to alleviate any additional forced influences I might impose.

You hit the jackpot with your mother. I see her radiant sunshine through your smile and hear her gentle wisdom in your voice. You possess her cheerful disposition—never lose that spark. Don't let the world dim your light. Your curiosity for how things work, your boundless imagination, and your creativity are treasures that will fuel your growth and guide you through life's journey.

The time I spend with you is my most precious gift, especially during these fleeting years of your childhood. Hearing your delightful giggles from across the house as you have your mommy chase you, or watching you belly laugh at an episode of Bluey, is something I will never take for granted. It's easy to forget that we only get to experience you as a child for a short part of our lives. I'm guilty, maybe the most guilty, of being impatient and too hard on you over trivial matters. But know this: I don't want you to see me as scary or intimidating. I want you to see me as someone who adores and loves you unconditionally.

Parenthood doesn't come with a manual, and hindsight is often how I learn to be a better father. But I promise you this: I will work harder at being a good father to you than I have ever worked at anything else in my life.

There are many things in my life I am not proud of, and I know you will make your own mistakes. But if there's one thing I hope you take from me, just as I took from my own father, it's a strong work ethic. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm one of the hardest-working people they know, and I take immense pride in that. I hope you will too. People might not remember everything you did, but they will remember what you didn’t do. Always do your best, even if it's not something you're particularly passionate about—every effort leads to new opportunities. You might not always be happy in a situation, but hold strong and push for something better. Don’t be afraid to take leaps of faith when you find them. Hesitation doesn't just kill the cat; it also decapitates dreams. Always trust your gut and your mother. She might hold you back from something your gut is telling you to do, and sometimes that’s a feeling worth listening to. If both your mom and your gut say no, it's probably best to steer clear. You can always ask me with complete anonymity.

As a father now reflecting back on my childhood, I realize just how fortunate I was. Although my parents divorced by the time I was three and we moved 700 miles away from my dad, I never once doubted their love for me. Distance might have separated us physically, but it never diminished the bond we shared.

My dad would make the grueling 700-mile drive just to watch me play football for two hours on Thursday evenings, only to head back to Kentucky and work Friday mornings. He never missed a game. He would also drive up to watch me box. I remember one evening when I was able to close the show in just 23 seconds. He drove 16 hours round-trip to watch his kid box for less than 30 seconds. His dedication to me was undeniable, a testament to his unwavering love and support.

He wasn't perfect, and often I felt he was too hard on me over trivial things. Perhaps that's where I get it from. But as I stand in his shoes now, I recognize the depth of his intentions. He wanted to shape me into the best person I could be, even if his methods were sometimes harsh. I don't want to continue that cycle, though. I have to protect you, and sometimes I may need to raise my voice to catch your attention. But my goal is always to guide and support you. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader, no matter what path you choose.

One thing my father taught me, perhaps without even realizing it, was the profound impact of love. Love can be the difference between a good life and a tumultuous one. There's a certain couple I know who, by many standards, might not seem to do everything right as parents. Yet, they unconditionally love their kids, and those girls are incredibly well-behaved and excel in school. They are remarkable children, evidence to the power of love.

Your grandfather's dedication to me, despite the miles and the challenges, has shaped my understanding of what it means to be a parent. It’s about being there, showing up, and loving unconditionally. I want to give you the same unwavering support and love that he gave me. If ever I'm not around to tell you how much I love you, I hope you can reflect on our memories and see my love in every action, every word, and every moment we shared.

So, my dear Jaxon, as you grow and encounter life's many twists and turns, know that my love for you is boundless. I will always be there for you, loving you with all my heart. Just as my father did for me, I will strive to be the man you can always depend on. If for any reason I'm not around one day to tell you how much I love you, I hope you can read my words and reflect on our memories. I hope you'll hear my voice in your heart, guiding you, loving you, and always cheering you on.