I wonder what it's like to be my kid...

I wonder what it's like to be my kid...

Do I make him feel loved in a "there's nothing I can do to lose this woman" kind of way?

How hurtful is it when I get harsh, or yell too long, or punish unjustly?

Is it the, "It made me more resilient" kind of hurt, or the "I'm wrecked way down in my soul" kind of hurt?

Do I find ways to effectively convey the depth of love and admiration I have for him?

When we are spending time together does he feel like he is the only person on earth, or just another item on my to do list?

When he comes to me with something that is bothering him, do I listen to his feelings, or am I too quick to jump in with a solution?

Am I still able to put myself in his shoes, or have I lost perspective on what it feels like to be a child?

Are my mistakes the kind that he will be able to learn from, as a fine example of what-not-to-do?

Am I doing enough to teach them the core values that are most important to our family?

In what areas am I hovering or rescuing too much, and need to let him get out on his own and be independent?

In what areas am I too naïve or too distant where he needs me to be a hound dog/detective and protect him from making mistakes he doesn't yet know how to avoid.

What things does he need me to understand that he cannot yet verbalize or is unable to say?

What are the three most important pieces of the legacy I will leave behind when I am no longer on this earth with them? If someone asked them to choose three words to describe the impact their mother left on their life, what would those words be?

Am I living my life with those three words as my guide?

Am I cutting myself enough slack to be content with my consistently imperfect, yet well-intentioned parenting?

- Kristen Heaney, BCC