A Twist in this Story pt. 5

Aspen

He didn’t come. Every turn that Aspen took in every single direction made her utterly dizzy and utterly sick because she knew every look just ensured the fact that he didn’t come. And that he was done.

She looked up.

The gate.

If she walked out of that black iron gate and started walking home then there was no way he could find her. But she didn’t want him to find her. Right? She didn't need him, in fact she didn’t want him. It would distract her from her goals. Her motives in life that she had known since she was seven years old.

But still… She looked back at the gate she had just walked through... He didn’t come.

She turned forward and began to walk. Every step hurt. Why did she want him to come so badly anyway? He was a good for nothing football player. She scorned at herself. She should know better. She should have always known better. She started to pick up the pace. Step step step step. Before she knew it she was at a run. She began to count. It distracted her for some reason. One two three four…. Twenty one Twenty two…

“Aspen, hey!”

Aspen swung her head around to see none other than Bryant. He paced faster than she did, but it took him less steps than her to get not even a foot away from her. Aspen’s heart almost imploded.

~~

Bryant

Bryant felt like an idiot. Not like, a real idiot for failing his Calculus test. More like an idiot for sitting five minutes past the bell trying to figure out what direction he was going to go. Left to the bus stop where he could go home and work the hell out of his new car, or right to the back gate where Aspen may stand.

Mrs. Alaburn looked at him in disappointment, “Difficult test?”

Bryant shook his head. Honestly it wasn't that bad. “What am I kidding,” he thought, “That test was complete bullshit.”

She sat in a stool that was placed in front of his desk, “Is it a girl?”

Bryant looked up, recognizing for the first time that his AP Calculus teacher had a personality. Then he came to realise what she was asking. She wanted to give him advice.

Without a second thought he shook his head vigorously. No way was he taking part in a cheesy “get the girl advice from the teacher” scene.

She shrugged then got back up, “Just asking.”

By the ten minute mark it was pretty obvious to Bryant how little he cared about Calculus and how much he cared about Aspen. And quitting just felt wrong, wrong all over. He could think of starting something so strongly and then just cutting off its ability to continue living. He jumped up and started to run right, after a minimal slam into the door that doesn't need to be mentioned, he turned right and bolted for the back gate.

~

“Why are you running?” Bryant said, not even panting, “You knew I was coming, right?”

“Well it's not like you had the element of surprise.” She was embarrassed. She was obviously trying to hide it and keep her position of dominance, but Bryant could feel this feeling in his gut telling him to go for it, and that there was no backtracking from here on out. If he honestly tried, opened up to her, he could do it. He just had to let go of all ideas anyone else tried to shove into his brain.

Wow… is that how he really saw it? Wasn’t his future what he wanted?

Well right now, all he wanted was Aspen.

Then he realised something he hadn’t. He had been staring at her extremely awkwardly for the past two minutes. He could hear the relationship he so desperately wanted exploding into little bits and pieces.

Then she smiled.

Bryant lit up. She smiled. Holy shit she smiled. She smiled. He felt like he could literally explode. This was it. This was his chance. No. Don't do that. Be cool. But don’t be stupid cool. Be like… cool cool.

A surge of confidence fell over him. Those usually don’t come from girls like her. Honestly this was one of Bryant’s first real feelings, and one of the first times he acted upon it. His mind was spinning in circles.

“So do I finally get to walk you home?”

She turned and started to walk, “I don't think so.” She glanced back though, to make sure he was following.

Wait what? “Why not?” He continued to follow her.

“Because then you’ll miss your bus. In fact you probably already did.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just walk back for practice.”

Aspen turned around and began to walk away. It wasn’t like it was a puzzle to figure out that she deeply wanted to him to follow. And he did.

~

Aspen

She walked with her head down. In her mind, she was just counting steps. She knew how many there were each time she walked to her house, so when she put her head up, she knew she was far far away from seclusion. But this time, counting her steps was much harder. She kept confusing the counting with her pulsating heartbeats, which she could hear echoing inside her head.

Bryant walked next to her, matching her pace exactly, step by step. “What are you thinking about right now?”

Aspen looked up at him, “This feels weird.”

And she wasn’t lying. It did feel weird to have someone at her side for once.

She studied his face. He wasn’t offended like she thought he would be. But at this point she wasn’t trying to offend him anymore. She thought he was curious, if anything.

“Why does it feel weird?”

“It feels weird walking with someone next to me.”

Bryant laughed harshly, “And I thought I was going to try and hold your hand.”

Aspen almost tripped, unable to control the emotions that cause her to do such stupid things and prevent herself from controlling her own body. She hated this feeling of being helpless to her emotions with a passion, but she couldn’t really hold any of it back.

This was the first time she felt like she was being honest, though. It did feel weird. But it wasn’t like it was a bad weird… at all. It just felt like some sort of uncomfortable naturalization that she had never experienced.

She could feel his breath. He was walking slower behind her now. She turned behind to look back at him, “What are you doing?”

~~

Bryant

Bryant honestly had no clue what the hell he was doing. He had gotten so far… right? Okay, no. He had gotten to the gate. He had gotten past the gate. He had gotten to walk next to her. Before that seemed like such a big deal. Now, it seemed like nothing. After the kiss, everything besides her seemed like nothing. And all he wanted was something.

But the hard part was prohibiting the “nothing,” and making something. There was this huge blockade holding him back, preventing him from just coming out and saying what he wanted to say so badly. And it wasn’t him. It was her. So why was he still trying?

He stopped himself from bracing his head in concentration. English comprehension essays were easier than this. Why was she so god damn complicated… Why couldn’t she just hold his hand and smile, let him know he was doing the right thing?

There were so many wars, so many battles to fight on this field. There is always the physical battle, as eye contact compares to tackling. There is also the mental battle, a battle of wits against your opponent, or the one you have strong feelings for. Then, there was the inner battle- the one that prevents positivity- the one that pulls one away from the focus that is the game. What barriers were causing her to prevent her focus from being on him?

He suddenly felt this weird sense of ability. Not an ability to hold back, but an ability to let it all go. In an extremely abrupt and awkward manner Bryant shouted, “God why is this so uncomfortable! I feel like we’re holding back so much and you’re holding back so much and I’m turning into a fourth grader with an awkward crush…” He ran his hands through his hair, “I mean can’t we be mature about all of this?”

Aspen stopped in her tracks, shocked by his sudden outburst. Even with it though, Aspen had a way of understanding people even when they were speaking on impulse. And she knew he was right. But she couldn't let him be right… Right? “Aren't we already being mature about this by not taking it too far?”

“And what is too far Aspen?” Bryant exhaled, but held his remaining breath until she finally gave her response, a single exhale from her own mouth. Then, she truly responded.

“Can we just… Talk like normal people?”

The spiral of emotion running through Bryant’s veins was cut short.

Normal. A lot of people called him that. Normal, traditional, classic. That was exactly what others saw him as. It was a cheap classification, one that he didn't want, and one that he didn’t want Aspen to understand.

But maybe this was the balance they needed, to break the barrier. Maybe the two negatives would make a positive, the two people in this world who could be anything but normal just turn out to have a normal conversation, a normal relationship.

Without words, Bryant nodded, and they continued to walk, off pace. Every minute they just stared at each other, trying to think of something normal to say. But both of them knew their love wasn't normal, no matter how they were classified. It was their personalities, they didn’t align. Their personalities clashed, but not in the worst way. It was like sparks, clashing against each other through the emptiness that silence provided, the intense eye contact, the blush, and the look away.

~~

Aspen

Aspen could feel the sparks that she had felt the first time he walked over to her. Her heart started to beat again, and she clenched her necklace. Her father was watching her, she always knew he was. And besides him she didn’t have anything else to hold onto. Aspen started to get worried, feeling the isolation suffocating her. What if she was this way forever? What if she could never accept the things she cared about? Breaking out of her own mind Aspen raised her eyes for the second time and saw the defeat he was feeling. This worried her. She was afraid he would walk away. As he continued to slow down he got to the point where his eyes were out of reach, the spark had disappeared. On impulse, Aspen stopped in her tracks to wait for him. He caught up, eyes wide.

This was the first time Aspen had done something on his behalf, the first time she was acknowledging his company. The first time it was obvious that she didn’t want to let this go.

~~

The two walked down the street, around the corners, walking next to each other, steps in complete harmony. They started to create casual conversation, and Aspen could tell Bryant was gaining some form of confidence back, which eased the small amount of guilt she had for taking it away. He talked about bombing a Calc test, she talked about how he was dumb for taking such a difficult class, and that continued for some time. Then Bryant asked why she always wore long sleeve, with which Aspen responded with an eye-roll, and a comment on how he wore tights during football. Aspen breathed out after the talk about the jacket passed, and she knew the issue averted, for now.

They finally turned the last corner, where Aspen had smiled to Bryant once again. She was expecting a smile back, since she had let herself show emotion towards him again, but instead Bryant looked forward, “Hey looks like your parents are home.”

Without a word Aspen turned to see Amy’s jacked up grey truck, as messed up as dented and worn down as it had been before. It was parked awkwardly in the driveway; the driver’s side wide open. She felt her throat twist into knots, her stomach churn. Her heart started pounding, once carrying the weight of fantasion of Bryant but now carrying an overwhelming amount of fear. Hands shaking, she grabbed his hand gently, “Come with me.”

Aspen didn’t know how much her hand in his would affect him until she realised he wasn’t asking any questions about being dragged down the street past the park and into an unknown forest. She finally stopped, just feet away from the entrance into her true home, the blessing and burden that created the memories she carried with herself constantly. The treehouse.

Bryant looked up, “Woah. Nice treehouse. Looks a little old though…” He leaned on the trunk and she jumped.

“No!” She wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him away. She blushed immediately.

He looked down, concerned, then smiled, “Sorry, I didn’t know it meant so much to you.” He stepped away just as Aspen did, both of them moving in the same direction with the same particular motion.

She looked down, realising she hadn’t let go of his waist. She suddenly turned a brighter shade of red, and Bryant laughed. He seemed comfortable, which made Aspen feel more at ease. Even so she pulled her arm away.

“So…” Bryant pressed, running his hand through his hair, “Can we go inside or..”

Aspen became speechless, cheeks flushed. This wasn’t just a treehouse to her. It was the opening to everything that was sane about her, her real home, her haven. It was the only thing that was only hers. If she let someone in, it would become hers and Bryant’s. No way in hell she was ready for something like that.

Bryant read her expression, and grew an understanding smile. “Does it at least have a story?”

Aspen looked around, of course for no reason because they were in the middle of a freaking forest, and sat down, back against the tree trunk. She breathed in the air, stained with the smell of the trees that circled her and Bryant, the smell of her childhood. She patted a spot next to her, “Sit down.”

Bryant sat down, pulling up his jeans in order to sit down properly. He nodded for her to continue.

Aspen reached into her brain. For the first seconds of a comfortable silence she sifted through the memories of her childhood, blocked out for so long the locket was the only thing that allowed them to exist. When she finally placed them into order, her father, her old mother, her childhood of smiles then separation, she opened her mouth to speak.

“When I was young, I lived with my father. My mother had died when I was a baby, I never really knew her. My father raised me until I was two, then met Amy. She became my mother, but although she loved me as much as my father she always was away at work. My father worked night shift at the local station, so he would always be with me all day. The place he used to take me most was the treehouse. Exhausted or not, he would always take me there. Always.

“Three or four years ago, my dad started to feel heart palpitations. The family my dad knew never had heart problems, so he assumed it wasn’t a big deal and it was from the stress of his job. Not a month later, he had a heart attack-” Aspen heard Bryant gasp silently, not being able to keep a steady face- “and… he was gone. I lost both my parents that day.”

Bryant looked down, then looked up, making eye contact, “What happened to Amy?”

Aspen held her breath as she thought of the words to explain how she felt, the illogical explanation that she had convinced herself was reality. Finally she let it go, “She isn’t my mom anymore.”

Bryant looked at her- confused, “What do you mean she isn’t your-”

“I said…” Aspen cut his voice like a knife to the throat, “She isn’t my mom.”

Bryant stopped talking, understanding her “shut up and agree with me” look. He still had more questions though; he always did with Aspen. There was always things he wanted to find out about her.

“So, is that why you didn’t want to go home? Because of your mom?”

Aspen folded her hands together on her lap. The gaps in time seemed to last for hours until one of them started to talk, “Essentially, yes.”

Aspen inhaled, taking another long pause of breathing, filling the air around her with tension. It got to a point where she had to speak, before it overflowed the air and made her erupt, “Now the locket around my neck is the only thing reminding me of the life I once had. I always wear it, to remind me of my past,” Aspen closed her eyes and rested her head against the huge tree behind her.

Bryant looked her in the eyes, then looked down at her chest. His eyebrows gathered, “So where is it?’

Aspen reached for her chest, then in alarm wrapped her hand around her neck to feel for the chain. It was gone.

Her locket was gone.

Her past was gone.

Her father was gone.