Letting Go

He was so nervous. His father could just feel it. He had begun with the little red tricycle his father had as a child and ridden it miles and miles up and down the sidewalk and driveways of the small quiet neighborhood. The day his father showed up with a real bicycle just his size he jumped for joy. The training wheels made it possible for him to go anywhere he wanted, within the confines of parental permission. At least everywhere he went on his tricycle. He rode every day, up and down the street, to the neighbors he called Aunt Milly and Uncle Jake, who baby sat him when his parents were away, and the other direction to the corner where he could look in one direction and see the tall church steeple silhouetted in the morning sun and the water tower in the other direction against the sunset in evening. Over time, the training wheels had been adjusted to match his stability and increase of balance, but now the day of reckoning had come. He would, were he successful, enter the world of those big boys who ride a bike all by themselves with no training wheels. Even though he could have gone anywhere he wanted to go with or without the training wheels, this still represented a new sense of freedom and independence.

His father raised the garage door and moved the lawn mower out of the way from its temporary spot after mowing the yard the day before. He got out his small tool box, and opening it, brought out a shiny silver wrench that adjusted to whatever size the bolt or nut needing attention called for. Adjusting and checking, then adjusting again, the size was determined and the nuts and bolts holding the training wheels on were removed as were the training wheels themselves.

Ah, the moment of truth. Guiding the bicycle out to the sidewalk, the nervous little boy's father held the bicycle still while he got on from the other side. Placing hands on each handlebar and feet on each peddle, he readied himself for the task. His father held on to the left handlebar with his left hand and the back of the seat with his right. Walking alongside of his son and pushing him along as he peddled for himself. A lump came in the throat of his father as they got faster and faster. He didn't want to let go but knew he had no choice. This was it. This was a major milestone in the life of his little boy who would be no longer little before he knew it as the time would swiftly fly. It was also a great piece of memory that they would share forever. As these thoughts raced through his mind it was like it all of a sudden happened completely on its own and out of the control of himself or his son. As if someone took his hands and pulled them away against his will, he let go.....

Off he went. At first not even realizing he was on his own and then in so much elation he almost lost control and crashed, the boy was riding by himself. No training wheels, nor hands from his father. All by himself, he peddled away. After a driveway's distance or two, he lost his balance but like a pro, he put his right foot down, caught himself, pushed off with the same foot and was off to the races again. What a moment. The anticipation had been almost excruciating, but now a moment had passed. A milestone reached and then, suddenly, the weight of the moment settled in on his father. His little boy was not really a little boy any more. This was the first of many stages of increased independence he would gain over the years. From cradling him in his arms to watching him drive away in a hand-me-down car as he leaves for college. It would all rush by in a whirl. But this was one of those moments trapped in time that is either jumbled up in hundreds of memories until they are all somewhat of a blur or it will stand out as one of the great moments in world history depending on the person remembering. To the little boy, now a man with a little girl of his own, it is the latter. As he adjusts the wrench and removes her training wheels for the big event he remembers. As he holds the very same bicycle he rode years before and she climbs on from the other side, he remembers. Then, like years before, time stands still as he lets go and off she goes. Just like his own experiences at riding a bike, there will be loss of balance and even a crash or two but the memory remains of that moment in time when Daddy has to let go. Exciting! Happy! Amazing!...and sad all at once. But a great memory just the same.