The Devils Tricks

I would run away but God runs faster

searching for love in strangers as if I've never known my love-full savior

embracing youthful lusts and re-inviting past behavior

clinging to all my things as if they'll never disappear

turning my cheek to God as if He weren't here

trashing money as if it's always there. as if it can repair

lately, Gods word goes in one ear and out the other

can’t recall the last time I prayed for my future lover

can’t recall the last time I prayed at all. that was my choice

but I never meant to hush His voice

guilt and shame make it easier to stall

I thought running back to God was the best part

I read, listen, and live out the verses of the world.

the ones that are appealing to my ears rather than my heart

If I approach the alter, will I fall apart. Hu?? will I fall to my knees. will His love hit hard!?

or have I become numb to God...

dissolved like the sugar in my iced tea. I feel I've drifted so far

drifted like the creamer in my coffee. maybe these wounds are starting to scar

I’m losing sight of what I know is true. God I need you! I need you I need you I need you

"lets have some funnnn" he begs. and what do I do? I take the pic and push send as long as I remember that he only wants to be friends.

the game of shame begins and I feel sick

I keep falling for the devils tricks.

NOW I can sit in my shame and hide my face or we can be realistic. I don’t want to except grace but God freely gives it.

Heck, I would run away but God always runs faster. Maybe I need to pray cuz I can’t serve two masters. I know that God paints masterpieces out of disasters.

“Nah, I’ll die for everyone but logan, she stinks” I don’t think that’s what Jesus thinks.

Sounds like lies are floating in these waters.

Though I’m that clumsy child that wanders, I know in my heart that Jesus died for all his sons and daughters.

The second He shows up, the devil and his lies are goners.

I’m sick and tired of sitting in All these dark corners

I’m a child of God that lives for His honor.

my life begins when I am less and He is more.

I don’t mean to burden you with my list of sins that leave me sore.

All I’m trying to say is this, if God can use a murderer, He can use this.

For loving him some call me crazy

Because of him my past doesn’t faze me

HELLO! Thank you for reading:) This one is deep. I don't like sharing things as personal as this and I don't like being so negative but I know that I'm not the only one who struggles in these areas. As a Christian I have nothing to hide. I'm human. I make mistakes. But I repent and I accept Gods grace. That may sound easy but it's not. Especially this time. I had to remind myself that Jesus died knowing that I would "re-invite past behavior." (Read Romans 5:8) I think we all pick up those things that we gave to God at one point in our lives but it's important to understand that Gods love for you will never change. EVEN after that...