Anne’s Story: Pirate’s Pain

Their plans usually ended this badly, so I don’t know what I expected. I stood over the trap of the gallows, the hood down over my face as that elf judge read the charges. I don’t know why he bothered; it was just the same ones over and over and over again. “Larceny, Piracy, Destruction of the Property of the City of Shorefang and of Baron Ossir…” the only thing that changed was the number of them. First it was half a dozen of them, then twenty, then “over two-hundred.” Ooh, but it was different this time! Now they were just “myriad crimes, including!” Of that, I was proud! It took a long and storied career for even Judge Lunarguard to not bother tallying your crimes! I smirked under the hood. At least those two would have a hard time filling my spot… assuming this was the end after all. There wasn’t really a guarantee that Stede and Cleto wouldn’t try to get me out of this. After all, they were banned from every ale house in Shorefang, so they couldn’t be drinking, and they certainly weren’t preoccupied with baby Caspian… they never were, poor boy.

Fuck, I forgot the context, didn’t I? Sorry, that’s on me. I’m Annie Brightstar, I’m the first and best mate of the Baleen. My captains are Stede and Cleto Denstooth, of the Crag Denstooths. Those two are my best friends, but damn is it hard to call them that when they pull shit like what they did that day. We had docked in Shorefang for supplies and a brief respite, thinking we could slip in and out unnoticed, when Stede got a hair up his ass, saying we needed a score to make the stop worthwhile. So he had me do the legwork, as usual, and I found us an arcane jeweler to knock over. We were in the process of doing the smash and grab, under the cover of darkness, when everything went completely pear-shaped. Mostly due to Cleto insisting on one of her over-dramatic speeches in the midst of the fucking shop. As would naturally happen, the Bronze Guards showed up and put a crossbow bolt through Stede’s thumb. We ran, but my boot caught a cobble and I ate shit. I woke up in the courtroom; guess they didn’t need to bother with the formalities of a cell, the sentence would be death no matter what. Even as Feyrith Lunarguard pronounced my death, I wasn’t worried about that. The only thing that worried me was the fact that I didn’t know Stede and Cleto’s plan… so I couldn’t actually make it work.

So, you’re caught up. I stood on the gallows in the courtyard of the Baron’s mansion. Ready to die. Might as well just let it happen. “You are a defiler of justice!” The judge yelled, ramping up to the big moment. “You are one who scoffs at the laws of this city! Of this empire! Of the very gods! It is truest now, as it always has been, that those who make mockery of the law, must. Be. Put. To. Dea-! Wait… what is that?” Suddenly, I was aware of a rumbling which grumbled up from the stone of the street. A moment later, the crowd began to scream as the rumbling got louder. After another moment, the rumbling was joined by a dozen other noises; creaking wheels, a cracking whip, neighing horses— then pain. The platform splintered beneath me, and the rope around my neck would have taken me if a blade, Cleto’s by the sound of it, hadn’t split it in the nick of time… wish she could have stopped the cross tree falling on my head though.

I woke up to my hands being cut free by a familiar, laughing maniac. Soon my bleeding head was freed from the hood, and above me stood Stede. He was 30, but he had the energy of a teenager. His leather sea cloak was shod through with splinters, as well as a few bullet holes. His wildfire hair was matted with sweat and blood. His chin was bloodied too, and you could only discern teeth from the blood which filled his mouth by dint of his distinctive Denstooth canine. He stood laughing above me, all three-foot-three of him screaming his wild joy into the sky. Behind him, a carriage lay shattered amidst the ruins of the platform. One of the horses which drew it lay dead, riddled with bullet holes and bleeding its life’s blood on the unconscious judge, who was pinned beneath its neck. The other horse was circling the courtyard in terror, a broken carriage tongue dragging behind its bridle. “Well, didn’t that work a treat, eh Annie?! Shows that Looney-guard cunt fer not watchin’ his carriage!” Stede laughed as he pulled me to my feet from behind by my shirt. He peered up at my head from my full height and gasped. “Oh shit, yer bleedin’! Cleto! Gotta get back to the ship! Send a message to Pauster to weigh anchor and ready to make sail back to Cochrane’s crag!” He shouted. From a nearby rooftop came a voice, rageful where Stede was exuberant; “Oh, I’ll just pull a fuckin’ pigeon outta my arse, will I?! Stede, you was supposed to come up with a way to get us out!” Cleto skillfully clambered down the rough stone of the nearby houses and into the now emptied courtyard. Her black hair was frizzed, and her small tricorn dangled from a chain which connected it to her ear ring. She was rage itself as she gave her husband and co-captain a clout about his head with the handle of one of her throwing knives. She then sprung two feet into the air with a flex of her halfling toes, grabbing me by the collar and jerking me into a kiss as she landed. Stede didn’t react, he knew the gesture wasn’t romantic, but an overly enthusiastic show of affectionate relief. Cleto was just like that. I winced as the wound above my eyebrow throbbed painfully. “I appreciate the love, Cletey, but I think we need to figure our shit out. Fast.”