Company.

I wake up, yet again,

Spiders on my breath

Overheating in a hoodie too comfortable to take off.

A small, quiet part of me, still wishes it was one of your hoodies. It helps to imagine that it is.

Call me crazy for living in the past, but it’s much more comfortable there than it is here.

A classroom of pity faces

Concerned teachers.

———

I don’t cry when I talk about you anymore.

A dreadfully ended chapter, I fear.

———

It helps to know you never loved me

As sad as it sounds it’s comforting to know it only hurt you because you like yourself.

What you loved about me wasn’t me,

The version of me that knocks on the door of your heart is a mirror.

It’s you.

I wish you knew that, and maybe that’s what you’re learning now.

———

I’ve never lost anyone as important,

But I don’t think anything better than losing you

Has happened to me.

I don’t miss you, I just miss having company that understands me as much as I thought you did.

———

And I’m sorry I still write about you.

I’m sorry it still hurts,

The slightest bit.

———

xx.