Rejected Affection

I climbed into my bed and thought of you

You make up my nighttime thoughts

When I pass you in the halls of an empty building filled with fake faces

I can't help but smile

and as you pass we make a subtle exchange

I get a small glimmer of hope

and you get another bit of my heart

When you talk to me my eyes bloom like the flowers in June

I'm left speechless with rosy cheeks

I will never tell you how I feel.

You can have anyone you want

why would you choose me

I would rather do chemical equations than go shopping

and I never have called someone babe

My best friend asked me why I thought you wouldn't like me

but it's hard to explain to someone

that rejection hurts almost as bad as a broken heart

and to feel both at the same time would be tragic

I don't know why but I feel like you would reject me like a bad organ transplant

maybe it has something to do with the way you web your words together when talking to a cheerleader

or maybe it's because I've been rejected so many times before I even got the chance to put myself out there

I know I'm only fifteen

and this is probably just a phase

I know you are not the man I'm going to marry

But has it ever hurt to want to feel affection

I had a dream last night that you gave me your sweatshirt, kissed me on the forhead, and whispered goodbye

When I woke I realised

It does hurt

Because the moment you think you've finally found what you've been looking for

It's taken away

Like a beautiful dream in a dreary reality