Fallen Gods

Ex God

I am not fond of heights at the best of times.

But when it comes to plummeting to my impending demise, I think I’ll make an exception to show an interest.

It’s quite an amusing situation, really. Well, actually, it’s not that amusing at all. But I’ve learnt from my two thousand years’ worth of wisdom that its best to laugh at situations like these. It’s either that or cry. And I’m an ugly crier.

But not as ugly as crash landing into a pile of dirt.

Don’t bother asking how I ended up here. I’m not exactly sure either. I just remember yelling... then falling. Lots of falling.

Mountainous trees spiralled in and out of view. Smoke streamed off my body like I was freshly cooked in my father’s kitchen and then thrown to Cerberus. I tried to fly. I tried to change into a star or teleport across the world or do a hundred other things that should have been second nature for me, but I just kept falling. I scraped between two narrow trees and BAM!

I lay groaning and aching in a densely packed forest, branches squashing and squeezing me together in an awkward position. I could’ve sworn I felt one of my arms pop out of place.

My nostrils burned with the fowl stench of wet mud, only to realise that the smell was stuck on my tongue. After spitting out the gross liquid, my first thought was to stand. But the moment I tried, I toppled back down again. My chest ached and throbbed like I’d been stabbed in a thousand places at once. Each small movement felt like another knife penetrating my skin.

It took a moment for everything to sink in. But once it did, it felt as though the skies had ruptured from my sorrows of despair.

My memory was fuzzy and blurred, but considering how I had nothing better to do besides from wallowing in my own self-pity, I figured I could put use to my divine wisdom, and so decided to think.

I had a hunch on why my father had given me this punishment, but I couldn’t quite recall how long this would last. And I really wanted to be home for dinner.

Perhaps this was just a warning. Perhaps this was just Zeus’ way of scaring me. He liked to do that sometimes.

"Stay calm…” I said to myself through gritted teeth.

“Just stay calm…”

It was easier said than done. I tried to move and get up again. I tried to grab onto a branch and hoist myself to my feet. I clawed at an easy-to-reach fallen trunk and managed to drag myself over the side of it. I toppled over and landed with a thud, but at least I could get to my feet this time.

After a quick glance around my surroundings, I could finally tell that this was a large type of field. Cows grazed in the freshly cut grass, and they didn’t seem to be paying all that much attention to me. I tried to hide my offence by it. The part I landed in, however, was a small forest next to the field. It wasn’t the prettiest of fields, I must say. I would’ve preferred the Canola Flower Fields in China.

I hobbled to a nearby stream and leaned down to inspect my new form. It certainly wasn’t pretty, that was for sure. I was a white male clothed in blue jeans and a red flannel shirt. Black trainers protected my feet, though I would have preferred something for my head or face; perhaps a crash helmet or some moisturiser.

I kept my elegant blond locks, but the hair had become frazzled from the fall, which resulted in a dorkish, nerdy look. All I was missing was some glasses and I’d pass as a Harry Potter lookalike.

Leaning up from the stream, I checked my pockets for anything of use. Perhaps my sword or the keys to my golden chariot that my sister had gifted to me on my birthday. I really wasn’t asking for much, and I still came out empty handed.

My face twisted in slight worry. He wouldn’t just leave me with nothing, would he? He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

The sun shone bright and warm, already starting to burn my pale arms. I had to get out of here. And fast.

To where I would go, I had no idea. Hopefully somewhere warm. Usually to tan I’d just sit on top of the sun for a little while, but now all I was focusing on was for my arms to hopefully not fall off from hypothermia. Was it a tad dramatic? Perhaps. But in my defence, I wasn’t exactly used to this whole mortal concept of surviving.

For all I knew I could die out here. I didn’t have anything on me that would provide just the slightest bit of comfort; not even a coat. My hands were chilly too. Could this day get any worse?

Trying my best not to start sobbing, I began to solemnly trudge my way towards the nearest opening of trees I could find, hoping it would eventually lead to an exit of sorts.

I never thought a punishment so cruel would ever be bestowed upon me. My brother, certainly. My sister, well, I was almost expecting it. But me? Why, I had done nothing wrong since the day I was first brought into this world!

Was it an overstatement? Yes, but compared to my troublesome siblings, I was good as gold. I had only brought a couple cities to ruin, and that was all the way back in BC! I only caused mass destruction when it was absolutely necessary, and replacing the only statue of me with yet another mundane statue of Poseidon was definitely a matter necessary to get upset over.

But by now, you’re probably wondering who I am. And again, I’ll try to hide my offence by it.

Clearly being an immortal, omniscient, all-powerful god of the earth and sky isn't enough for you mortal delinquents. But I'll be truthful with you, reader (not like I have much choice); I'm not entirely the god of anything. But that's no excuse to find me any less important than the rest of the oh-so-great sky daddies.

My dear father would call me a mistake, but I prefer the term unexpected. I wasn't what he wanted, to put it simply. I don't lift the sun at dawn, nor do I deliver messages that could potentially save the universe. I have the everyday powers, sure, but nothing that can tell me who I am.

Perhaps that's why I was tossed to earth. I'm not exactly seen as important up there, so why not just throw out the trash?

Anyhoo, best not to indulge any deeper into my daddy issues.

The last time that happened I believe I might've caused the end of Pompeii in 79 AD.