The Sum of No Fear

I don't know what the world has told you, but it's wrong. Everyone is good at something, everyone has to try, everyone is special... It's all lies. People expect those struggling to just buy some fluff about them being wonderful people. It's about personal responsibility. Lying to the world will only create liars, and a society of liars will never find the truth.

The truth is that we can all do something special, but it is on us to accept what we've done and to change what we can. It's not some walk in the park where someone can just say something and suddenly a horrible life is better. You think it's enough to just tell people they're loved, that their lives are valuable? How do you know that? Your words and fake sympathy mean nothing.

Give them what they have in front of them. It may even be nothing, but we as a society cannot rely on each for healing. We must self-heal. We are all broken, in small ways or big ways. The people in our lives should not shoulder the burden of being our healers. They should be our guides to finding our own medicine, the cures to our problems, and the wisdom to prevent future pain. Give people what they need to see that they are directly responsible for their successes and failures. It may seem like a great burden to bear, but you must understand that a life without responsibility is not a life at all.

It's actually incredibly uplifting to know that you control everything in your life. Fear is the only obstacle for most of us, but it is an enormous obstacle at that. It's a difficult situation to think about, wanting to do something yet feeling like a prisoner within your own mind, with thoughts for shackles and facing your greatest fears as the keys.

That is the struggle in overcoming everything in your life. Overcoming fear is ensuring that you will never be scared. Of anything. It seems so simple, but the world is a scary place. Part of our brokenness as a society is our perpetuation of fear within each other- fear of judgment, fear of loss, fear of being different. And to heal that brokenness it is not love that we need to seek, but confidence, confidence in who we are and what we can do.

Success is as simple as understanding failure. And when you understand failure, you will never feel unsuccessful. Fear, failure, confidence, success... They all relate.

So many people think that helping someone is being there every step of the way, when in reality that is the furthest thing from true help. True help is making your assistance irrelevant to that person, and that doesn't happen through coddling them. It happens through setting them free and showing them how they can help themselves.

Confidence is success. Fear is failure. Have confidence in your failures. Fear your successes. Always stay balanced, humble, and foolish. Remember that no one controls your destiny but you.

Milan Kundera once wrote about the unbearable lightness of being, in that the freedom of free will and choice is such a burden, but I respectfully disagree. Complete control of your choices is one of the heaviest things in the world, but it is completely bearable. It is necessary. It is as a ship needs an anchor. But you are both the ship and the anchor in your own life. And I think that's a wonderful feeling. It reminds you that all it takes to change anything in your life is a leap of faith. And all that leap takes is confidence over your fear.