The Bold Words of a Poem

This book is a mess of poems.

This book is for the tired

The lonely.

And those who just need Someone to be there for once…

Girls

For the girl whose life is messy

For the girl who wants to die

For those of us who wish our days away

Know you aren’t alone

As you journey has only begun

Many of us will leave

Yet its not the end of the road

Just a stop to loose some dead weight

Some stay

Others leave

Yet I will remain

As will the words

Of a poem, a reassuring statement

Will stay by your side until the end of

eternity

Hurt Souls

How to mend a hurt soul

Don’t fix with tape

Or glue or gum

It only mends when a hurt soul is healed

by another harmed soul

Two souls fighting for a painless afterlife

Unable to find comfort

Unwilling to try and reach Anyone

Distancing themselves

Away from heaven and earth

Away from love from pain and away

from Life or death

So to fix a hurt soul

You must love their hurt side as well as

their good side

The Saddest Family

If you look with all your might

You will see them

But the scene you witness

Makes you want to look away

Cos what you see is so saddening

The eldest daughter hides in her room

Whilst the second eldest makes the

diner

And the youngest three sit on the old

uncomfortable couch the only sits them

And the youngest three play on their

iPads

The mother sits crocheting whilst listing

to songs and yells at the children's

father. The father gets yelled at and sort

things out best he can.

So if you happen to see the saddest

family Do not try to make them smile

Cos all you will do is hurt them

By seeing you smile

The End

The end of the beginning

Tis the end of the beginning

A brand new time

A new pain

And new cures

A time of giving up And letting down

Broken Things

Broken things are normally gotten rid of

Broken people are normally forgotten

and abandoned

Yet broken people are the strongest

Most don’t think that mainly they are

broken

But not me

They are strong and still holding it

together

To have a few sharp edges means that

Someone or thing broke it off

That is the person that should have

been forgotten

And overall

The broken people are the best simply

cos

A broken person knows another’s pain

And actually will care.

Death

Woe to thy

Thys world ends

This is them

The time of calling

The bright light

The welcoming staircase

The dreaded road

Time of choice

Witch way is thys?

Eternity of happiness and painless joy

Or

A place of harm.

Of hurt and pain.

A place alike that of life.

Eyes

The tongue lies

And the smiles fib

Only eyes tell the horrible truth

Fire

You are my fire

Your there for me when I’m not there for

you

You light up the darkness around me

You keep all my monsters away

But one little thing

I don’t know why

But there is this one thing

You don’t love me and yet your still here

You still protect me

You still light my path

You still warm me up on cold nights

I fought you

You fought me

I pushed you away

You dragged me a little bit closer

In the end when I called you worthless

and stupid

You ran away

You are my fire

Your there for me when I’m not there for

you

You light up the darkness around me

You keep all my monsters away

Now I wish you back here

I need you back here

All my monsters are consuming me

And I am hopeless against them

I’m sorry I pushed you away

I know it’s hopeless

You were my fire

Your were for me when I’m not there for

you

You can’t any longer light up the

darkness around me

You kept all my monsters away

You won’t come back to me

I pushed you enough that I can’t reach

you again

I can’t reach you again

Can’t reach you again

This World

This world chews up little boys

This world crushes little girls

All the ones that made it

What it is now

Are long gone

And so are

All the good

Things in this world

You most likely

Won’t find me

Cos all that all that you will find

Is the darkness

Which surrounds you and me

And the rest of us

No longer breathe this air

They now breathe something pure

And are dressed in clean clothes

The world destroyed them

And so another rebuilt

No one is safe from the darkness

Which consumes all.

Wings

Don’t worry little one

You’ll fly someday

When your wings are strong

And your mind is grown

You’ll fly

You’ll touch the sky

Fly among the stars

Go around the moon

You’ll fly for a long time

Years

Months

Days

Then one day

You’ll come to realise

You need your own nest

A place to call home

So, little one,

You’ll fly back down

Among the Mountains and the Sea

You’ll learn that the best place is high up in a tree

And you’ll start collecting

Sticks and leaves

Stones and flowers

Fur and feathers

Slowly, you’ll build your nest

A floor

One wall, two walls

A comfy bed to sleep

Then, one day long after that little one

Another little bird will come down

From far up in there sky

Needing a place to sleep

Be kind to them, little one

For they are still learning

But, they will know the same things you do

You’ll find yourself loving them

And that friendship will turn

Into something bigger

And soon, my precious little one

You’ll have a wonderful batch of eggs awaiting to hatch

One day

One month

One year

You’ll be where I am

With an empty nest

With a loved one

With a happy heart

And then, you’ll die

Don’t be scared little one

Death isn’t your enemy

I assure you that

Deaths a place far away

You’ll journey there one day

Just like your sibling

Just like your grandparents

Just like me and Daddy will….

Dark

Most fear it

Others despise it

Me though

I thrive in it

I see the dark as

My closest

and my

oldest friend

Something I cherish

Someone I love

Somewhere

To call home

The Boat

Like a baby in a mothers arms

The little boat rocks

An infant

to the mother sea

The stars above

never fading

The waves lap at the boat

Never relenting

The lungs of my shipmates

Forever still

Just like

My own

Rain

Rain washes away your worries

Drenches and cleanses your soul

For when the clouds close up

And the sky screams

You get peace in mind

A mute to the attacks of words

Music for the soul

Water for the mind

For when it rains

A temporary truce is formed

Amidst the war

Between mind and body

I’m The Girl

I’m the girl everyone hates

I’m the girl everyone loves

I’m the girl no one sees

I’m the girl always wanted

I’m the girl you never reached

I’m the girl you couldn’t get enough of

I’m the girl

Everyone wants to be

But, behind my pretty smile

Shining eyes

Loud laughs

And offers to help

I’m shattered

I’m broken

I’m left to die

I’m always crying

Yet,

In the the depths of my soul

I smile

Through it all

Insanity

I hid it. I always did. I always knew I would. For a long time I knew I’d have to.

As a kid, I was encouraged. They said it was a good thing. To be curious. About how eyes worked. How much blood was in a body. They always were too busy to play though…

Then one day, they stopped encouraging the demon inside me. They started looking at me weird. Backwards glancing, hushed whispers and petrified looks became my new normal. I didn’t even ask to play anymore…

Then it got worse. They started the war. The game. They called me names. They poked and prodded. They were the ones that always blamed me.

It’s okay though….

I fixed it. They don’t now. And, oh how much fun it was. The musical screams…the warm, red liquid that relentlessly drenched everything…the rush of the run. Oh how much fun I had. They finally played my games with me….

The Dark and The Twisted

One, two

Trip over your shoe

Three, four

You should’ve locked the door

Five, six

Don’t bother with the sticks

Seven, eight

Light them up

Nine, ten

The hen was poisoned

Eleven, twelve

The maids are falling

For they ate the poisoned food

That was meant for you

Demons Land

Run, run little one run. As fast and as far as you can. For this is the demons land and they know your here.

Run run old man run. As fast and as far as you can. Go with the little one.

Run run little one run. As fast and as far as you can. Away from here.

Run run little one run. The old man can’t come for he went to far into the demons lair.

Run run little one run. You’ll be safe far from here. For the demons are coming for they know your here.

Run run. Far away run. For this is the demons land and they are here

I didn’t know

I didn’t know

I didn’t know a lot of things

Things I wish I’d known

Before now

I didn’t know a song could bring me to tears

I didn’t know a simple hug could make me melt

I didn’t know it’d hurt so much to let you go

I didn’t know it’d hurt like I was in hell

I didn’t know

But I wish I had

I wish I’d known

That you’d choose him

I wish I knew that

I’d just smile and congratulate you

I wish I’d known

I didn’t know that

I’d be spending

months of nights

Crying myself to sleep

Over lovers past

Over people I don’t know anymore

And things I’ll never have

I want

When I die

In my final moments

This

This is what I want

The last thing

I touch

I want to be

The blade that ended me

The last thing

I hear

I want to be

You whispering how much you love me

The last thing

I breathe

I want to be

A sigh of relief

Now, my love

This one is the easiest one for me

For this

I have always known

The last thing I see

I want to be

Is you

My beautiful love

Even if

Your not there

I will see you.

I know I will…

Whispers

He could hear them.

The faint whispers

Carried by the wind

While he stared up at the padded ceiling

“Don’t fear…”

“My dear…”

“They’ll love you one day..”

The same as always

Cruel laughter

Evil glares

Pitying stares

Unable to look him in the eye

He knows.

He knows their lying

They can’t even look him in the eyes

When they say, “I love you”

He knows the truth.

He’s a monster.

A thing no one can love.

Not even his mother

So he waits.

And waits.

And continues waiting…

And wishes the long hours away

Because one day

The sun will shine

Through the rain

And it’ll be a sunny day

And one day

Someone will hold his hand

Look him in the eye

And tell him they love him

And that time

That one magical time

They might, just might.

Mean it

Hurt

One little butterfly

Stops by the window

One little rose

Withers in the garden

Picture of the father

Torn into pieces

Sitting alone

By the bed

One little girl

Crying on her own

Bruised and bleeding

Far from home

One little boy

Hurt and scared

All on his own

In the dead of night

They all sit in a room

Awaiting for Death

But like all the others

He doesn’t come when they need him

One by a knife

One by the water

Two by pills

And one left to choke

Reality

Are you real?

Or am I

Just genuinely

Crazy

Are you real?

Are you there?

Why can I see you?

When no one else can

Why can I feel your warmth

When you hold my hand

When you hug me

And when you hold my waist

Why can I feel your harsh stares

Painful glares

Hateful looks

And your seething, fleeting, glances

Why can I hear you

Your near silent movements

Your fake promises

Whispered in my ears

Why?

Why me?

Am I crazy?

Or are you there?

Please tell me

I have to know

Why do I see you all

When none other seems to…

My Butterfly

Oh, butterfly

My sweet, innocent butterfly

You have no idea

How much you mean

I’d give my soul to see you smile

I’d live with Satan to hear you laugh

I’d fight to make you feel

I’d do whatever I can to make you happy

Ah, my pretty little butterfly

So close, yet so far out of reach

So beautiful,

Yet convinced otherwise

I wish you knew

How much I loved you

How I cherish every moment

How I smile every time I see you

So beautiful, yet think otherwise

So worthy, yet feel like rubbish

So kind, yet so sarcastic

So perfect, yet so withdrawn

My Butterfly,

I’ll never let another hurt you

I’ll always tell you how worthy you are

I’ll call you nicknames you don’t know

The meaning for

Because you are mine

My beautiful Butterfly

Even if you don’t know it

Yet

Difference

There is a difference

That they don’t see

That I can

A good difference

They don’t see that

He and you make me smile

While they just

Make me cry

They don’t see that

I cry myself to sleep

Thinking things that’ll never happen

And wishing they would

They don’t see

That I love them

Unlike how

They hate the other

They don’t see

That I hate them

Just as much

As they love me

They don’t see me.

Because I hide

They don’t see my tears

Because I punch my eyes when I do

They can’t see me

For me

They only see

What they want to

Don’t Shoot the Messenger

It happened again

It just did

I don’t know how or why

But it’s happened again

I tried to keep him safe

To protect his little touch of innocence

To keep him in his safe little bubble

But he wouldn’t listen

Now I’m laying here crying

Feeling like I’m dying

Cos once again I failed

To protect them from harm

He just wouldn’t listen

I don’t know why

I just tried to protect him again

Why do I always end up being the hated

She listened good

After a little while

She went to bed and said good night

And turned out the light

He doesn’t get it thought

That I’m protecting him

From the monster that comes

When the whisky calls

Now I’m laying here crying

Feeling like I’m dying

Once again I failed

And I’m hated again

Now he’s lost his hope

She’s kept her smile

He’s lost his bubble

And hers grew

She loves me

Looks up to me

He doesn’t.

He won’t even talk to me

I feel like I failed

I should’ve done better

Should’ve

Could’ve

They Come When Called

Unlike what you think

Unlike what you dream

Monsters aren’t free

To kill for sport

No, no

They only come when they are called

The monsters from the deep

They just have different horns

Some monsters come

By the call of a whiskey glass

Some monsters come

By the call of a war horn

Some monsters come

By seeing their loved one hit

Some monsters come

From the bottom of the pit

No monster is the same

They all have their own space

Deep within our universe

They lay in wait

Some come

By the sound of a scream

Some come

By the sight of a knife

Some win

Some loose

It all depends on the game

And it’s stakes

Burden

I didn’t want to burden you

With all my shit

But now you know

There’s nothing I can do

To take it away from you

There’s nothing I can do

Nothing I can do

Take it away from you

I didn’t want to tell you

Didn’t know any to burden you

With my feelings

Didn’t want you to know

Didn’t want you to know

To think I was too busy

For you

For you

Nothing I can do

To take the pain from you

To take away your hurt

There’s nothing I can do

I want to

I really want to

Want to

Take it away from you

Mhm mm mm

Want to take it away from you

Didn’t want to burden you

Times

Bad times

Good time

Sad times

Angry times

All kinds of times

Make up our lives

Fleeting little moments

Mainly forgotten

Sitting with your daddy

Singing with your momma

Crying to your stuffies

Waiting for your baby

Forgive Me

Forgive me sister I wasn’t there

Forgive me brother I wasn’t here

When you needed me

Forgive me please

Forgive me father for I didn’t help

Forgive me mother for I cried too

Forgive me please

Forgive me

Forgive me kitten for I didn’t know

I didn’t know how much you cared

Forgive me lover I hated you

Hated you

Forgive me

Please

Forgive me

For I weep too

When I’m Alone

When I’m alone

I’m scared

When I’m alone

I’m in my head

When I’m not

I won’t cry

I will smile

I will fight

When I’m alone

I don’t have the strength

To fight against my demons

All the time

When I’m with you

I feel so strong

But so numb

Deep inside

When I’m alone

I forget how to feel

I forget what it’s like

To not cry

When I’m with them

I put on a mask

Pull up my shield

And act like I’m fine.

Right Way

Gotta see things upside down

Before you can see

Them the right way

Right way

Gotta be the villain

To understand the hero

Have to be insane

To see the sane way

Have to be evil

To see the good

Gotta be the bully

To see the victims story

I ain’t no saint

I’m a sinner

Through and through

The killers on the loose

Gotta see things upside down

Before you can

See them the right way

Right way

Won’t never understand the light

Till you’ve been the dark

Gotta be a criminal

To see the bad guys side

Have to be the bad guy

To see the good guys

True intentions

Right way

Gotta see things upside

Upside down

Then you’ll see them the right way

Right way

Dream

When I was five

I dreamt of playing

With my parents

When I was six

I dreamt of going

To big kid school

When I was seven

I dreamt of friends

To play with at school

When I was eight

I dreamt that the fights

In my home stopped happening

When I was nine

I dreamt of the knives

That lived in the kitchen block

When I was ten

I dreamt of the sweet

End

When I was eleven

I dreamt of getting better

From the darkness around me

When I was twelve

I dreamt of leaving

Fleeing from the bullies

When I was thirteen

I missed having a bed

And a home and food everyday

When I was fourteen

I dream of salvation

From home, from parents, from siblings

From life

Clown

Force a smile

Force a laugh

Do this stupid

Circus act

For Me

You’re here for me?

That’s bullshit

You haven’t even

Seen me cry

You don’t get what’s in my head

You don’t get what they say

Their telling me I’m being attention seeking

I’m calling myself over dramatic

And you don’t get it

You’re here for me?

That’s bullshit

You don’t even know I don’t sleep

I stayed up last night, ya know?

It felt like I was drowning

It felt like there was a balloon

Deep in my neck

I couldn’t breathe

Couldn’t see

Couldn’t move fast enough

To help myself

And if I can’t understand it

And I can’t help myself

How do you, the person who pays no heed

Expect to help?

King and Queen

Nobody was entirely sure

Which of them

Was the stronger one

The king? Or his Queen?

Which was stronger

The woman who rose millions

And rallied them to fight

Killed millions

Or the man

That had managed

To do the impossible

And soothe her

Devil

One

Two

Three

Four

The devil

Bashing

On your

Door

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

The doors

About to give

From the

Weight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

He got in

Have fun

In

Hell

People don’t get

There are so many things

People just seem

To never understand

My respect

Is earned

Not given

My love

Is mine to give

Not owed

My trust

Is to be valued

I’m not going to tell secrets to a stranger

Forgiveness

Is not always

Something not necessarily warranted

If I love you

You’ll know it

You will

I’ll trust you with things

Tell you the secrets of my heart

Open up to you

I’ll forgive you more easily

Help you more often

And let you help me

I’ll dote on you

Shower you in my love

I mightn’t realise if it’s too much

I’ll respect you

Listen to your words

And actually think about them

People don’t get

These simple

Simple things

Knew All Along

I guess I knew all along

You’d never need me

I guess I knew all along

I couldn’t stay

I guess I knew all along

I was just the side part

I guess I knew all along

I’d never be enough

I guess I knew all along

I am alone

I guess I knew all along

I stand on my own team

I guess I knew all along

I was just there to die

First Choice

I never thought

I’d be like this

Crying over a girl

I wish were mine

But I’m always

Gunna be the last choice

In your game

Of stolen hearts

Only the first choice

When you need

Boy advice or

Calming down

Best friend

Second place

Your not so secret admirer

Right hand girl

I’m still gunna stand here

On this podium

In the second place spot

Wishing I were him

I’m sorry

I’m sorry my last words were a lie

I wish I told you I loved you

But I told you

I hated you

And that

I wished you would die

You got into the car

With him

He took you away from me

My dear best friend

Now you are gone

And he is leaving

I’m all alone

The nights are dark

And you are gone

How do you expect me to move on?

I’m sorry my last words were a lie

I wish I told you I loved you

But I told you

I hated you

And that

I wished you would die

He took you from me

He stole you

He should never have

Now he’s going away for a long long time

I wish I told you I loved you

I wish you knew

How much I love you

I wish you had been able to say it back too

“I love you too”

I’m sorry my last words were a lie

I wish I told you I loved you

But I told you

I hated you

And that

I wished you would die

Wished you would die

Broken

I’m not broken

I know this because

If I was broken

So many people would be

Dead

And so many more

Would cry

So don’t you dare tell me

I’m broken

Cos I’m not. I know I’m not.

I’m still

Holding on

You cracked

You broke

You ended up dead

I’m still breathing

My cracks are hidden

Same as my heart

I will not break as you did

I cannot fall that far

I know I’ll fall someday

But

Not

Today.

I refuse to fall that far

As to die by my own

Blade.

My own

Bullet.

My own

Rope.

I refuse to die yet

Yet

Soon

One day

But not yet

Cos I’m still holding on

Just

To

Piss

Everyone

Off

What I do for you

It’s a lose lose

I didn’t get to choose

When they’d yell

I’d have to protect them

Always first to apologise

For things I didn’t even do

It’s always up to me

Even when it shouldn’t be

I was part of this family

I was depressed

They were drunk

So I took care of you

I shouldn’t have to be the bigger person

How come I have to give up everything

For people who wouldn’t

Even give me space when I needed it?

Maybe this time they’ll be the

Proper adult

Fantasy dreaming I know

Maybe next time

I stayed quiet

Wanting someone to notice

How much everything

Was killing me inside

Classroom

Ding dong

Waste my time

Now I’m running

For my life

One breath

Two breath

Shaky hands

Racing mind

Almost over

Nearly home

Pen to paper

Stress to mind

Chaos in my head

Pen in my hand

Stress in my heart

Venom lurking in the halls

No, You Can’t.

Mum, Dad I think

No. You can’t.

You’ll be our perfect

Little showpiece

Mum, Dad,

I don’t like my siblings

Yes, you do

You’ll risk everything for them

Mum, Dad,

I think I’m Genderfluid

No, your not

Your our perfect daughter

Mum, Dad,

I’m not like her

Yes, you are

Because we say so

Mum, Dad,

I don’t want to

Yes, you do

You’ll be what we want

Mum, Dad,

I’m scared

No, your not

Your the eldest your fine

Mother, Father

I hate you all

Why the fuck can’t you

See that?!

Dysfunctional

A family forged in fire

The flames rising higher and higher

Thick black smog blurring the view

Of any hope of tomorrow

The flames burn bright

Against us all

The lies lay fuel for our fall

Steadily stacking against us all

Walls are built around us all

To keep them out

And to keep us

Under their control

We have no one

Not one small light

To guide us through this horrid night

So please

Don’t ask

“What’s wrong”

The flame will just burn brighter

When we lie in response

Rain

If the clouds are persistent

And the tunnel has no end in sight

Your mind is coloured with nothing

But dark colours

Then accept you can’t

Force the rain to stop

But learn to dance in the dark

And the shadows

So you’ll have something

To occupy your mind

A healthy way

That brings just a bit of shine

So when your clouds are gone

And your smile comes back

And you’ve dried off

You can go

You can go and teach others

Stuck in their rain

To dance

And survive these days

My name

I can count upon my hand

The time my name was called

For in the sorrows land

My name is scarcely known

I’ve changed it once

And told I took up two

They hardly use my name now

And call thee wrong

I’m a stranger

Even upon my abode

Thee ignore it’s existence

Brethren mock upon it

Only the sparrow by my side

Calls my name

Generation

Something is wrong

Oh, so terribly wrong

Or at least that’s what the boomers think

About my generation

Ah yes

Because boys can kiss boys

And mental health matters

And we don’t want kids

They think we are wrong

And lazy and doomed

We actually have self confidence

Even with the abuse they inflict

They are loosing control

And so they lay blame

On the next generation

Who had to be our own fathers

So you can hate how we look and how we think

You can take our locks

You can tell us to commit

To both relationships and suicide

But we know who we are

In our generation of depression

And we know who our parents are

Our own constant oppression

I want to live.

Before you start a war

You have to know what your fighting for

And I’m fighting for a great many things

None is what they expect

I’m supposed to fight for many things

For many people

And that would make sense wouldn’t it?

To fight for the same things as them

But I’m not.

And I won’t.

I can’t seem to force myself

To fight for their cause

I love things they don’t

They agree with things I don’t

They say things they mean

That make no sense to me

They want to kill us all

I want to be able to live

They want to destroy this life

I would like to cherish it

Trust no one

But yourself

I don’t even trust myself

Is that okay?

No of course it’s not

Nothing is ever

For if it is not what they like

It must be wrong

Is it okay..?

Is it okay

To want things different

No, no

It’s not

Is it okay

To be different

No, no

It’s not

Is it okay

To want to love

No, no

It’s not

Is it okay

To need some help

No, no

It’s not

Is it okay

To be unstable for a little bit

To need just a touch of aid

To be someone they don’t like

Why isn’t it okay

Why isn’t it okay

To be this way

What is wrong with me

Fatal Choices

I wish I’d listened to your words

The words you spoke the most

Cos now your buried six feet deep

And your lungs don’t even work

You could’ve saved me from the man

The man I loved the most

I wish you’d listened to my words

The words I spoke the most

Cos now your covered in bandages

From the time he had a knife

I could’ve saved you from the man

The man you loved the most

Now I’m buried six feet deep

And my lungs don’t even work

I wish I’d listened to your words

The words you spoke the most

Cos now I’ve got three kids

I cannot even love

I wish you’d listened to my words

The words I spoke the most

Cos now your covered in holes

From the times he had a gun

And I’m buried six feet deep

And you can’t even say goodbye

I wish I’d listened to your words

The words you spoke the most

Cos now he’s gone

And the last thing that went

Through his mind was his knife

The last thing through his chest was

His own bullet

I wish you’d listened to my words

The words I spoke the most

Cos now your all alone

I could’ve told you the man

The man you loved the most

Would leave you when he cracked

I wish you’d listened to my words

The words

I spoke the most

I wish I’d listened to your words

The words you spoke the most

Cos now I’m all alone

My kids long gone

I ended up loving them

But now they’re gone

Taken by the men that horrible night

The men with guns whose hearts lie with gold