The Beginning

I always thought love would arrive in my twenties

Gently and with great foreshadowing

Once I was settled

Ready for commitment

Ready for a family

Ready for the beginning of the end

I thought love would put up a fight

I imagined tears and screams

Late nights where the only thing I could do was stare at the walls

Days I would shower for a hour to try to cleanse more than my body

Days when I would scrub as hard as I could to exfoliate my heart

I thought love would kick me in the gut

It would hold me tight only to suffocate me

It would give me a kiss on the cheek

Then a black eye

I imagined bloody noses,

Crooked teeth,

Aching knuckles,

Purple bruises

But love arrived when I was eighteen

It arrived without warning

No caution signs

No tears

Love arrived in the form of curls,

And gray sweatshirts,

And heavy metal

Love didn't harm

It didn't pry

Or scream

Love laughed at me

But it was the best laugh I had ever heard

I couldn't possibly be mad

Love was staying up all night to talk

And staying out late to drive around

Love was falling asleep imagining the next time we would be together

It was ten minute showers to get back to talking as soon as possible

And lotion to nourish

Love didn't mind my empty parts

It looked past the blurred lines

It liked my face without makeup

And it liked my heart the same

Love was stories of crooked teeth

And purple bruises as a result of those teeth

Love didn't care about my inexperience

It only laughed as we figured it out

Love was warm

Love was funny

Love felt like going to the ocean

Feeling the breeze on your face

As the water runs up your legs

Love came without warning

Without caution

Love came swiftly

And naturally

When love arrived it didn't feel like the beginning of the end

But instead,

Just the beginning