Saved by Grace

Like a dog you expect me to bow down to God as if He were my master.

I wish I could sing like her. I wish I could dress like her. She's so perfect. I wish I had a car like his. I wish I was as athletic as he is. She’s so popular. Wish I had more followers. Why do I care. Their life is theirs. I always find myself stuck in this comparison thing when the only one I should compare to is the King. The one that molded and sculpted me. In his eyes I am beautiful and flawless. So i”m done with this comparison game. In my creators eyes I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

You think you can love me into religion. You think you can pin a list of rules to my life and expect me to listen. Like just cause I'm here I'm a christian. You think that just cause I go to a catholic school I won’t be a fool. You think that just cause my dad is a pastor I won’t live a life of disaster. Like a dog you expect me to bow down to God as if he were my mastor. Religion has me messed up and twisted. If there was a meaning to that life i must have missed it.

But even to that God says be still and listen.

To a sinner like me his selfless love still draws in.

To a sinner like me God says “I loved you at your darkest.” (Rom 5:8)

If a sinner like me cried out to God he’d still have all the ears to listen.

Even to backstabbing sinners God’s love is obsessive.

My prideful behavior... ceases every time I peep the gracious eyes of my savior.

They dont lie when they say his love is reckless. Take it from someone that is reckless.

I often wish my body could stay in a slumber. Forever. Never to wake up. Never to move, speak, hear, or feel again. Every day I fight these questions in my head. Should I take my life? Should I not… But I ought to because i’ve mastered the smile and laugh that deceives you. I’ve mastered the happy character you see. I can laugh and say “I want to kill myself!!" and you’d laugh with me. I’ve come this close to ending it completely but I haven't ‘cause truth is the thought still scares me. I just need someone to help me.

If that’s you and you’re here tonight you need to hear this. No one is born to be nothing but worthless cause with your life comes a place and purpose. Jesus Christ died so you don't have to. Psalm 55:22 says “cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never let the righteous be shaken.” That’s a promise that can’t be broken. So trust God with your life and I promise you’ll make it. But if you’re still struggling. Tell someone. Don’t let devil win. Don't let comparison win. Don't let your sin win. You are a child of God.