Roads Not Of My Choosing

Sometimes I feel like I have spent a large quantity of my life listening to someone speak. Whether it was the pastor of the church I attended, a political figure, motivational speaker, a trainer where I may have worked, or simply an average person giving some words of wisdom. Sadly I must admit that except for a few times, most of the speeches I have heard I can scarcely, with the exception of tidbits I gleaned hardly remember.

One of those morsels I remember occurred a few years back during my sons’ baccalaureate service prior to his graduation. The speaker, who was actually one of the teachers, shared one thought that I still remember just as if I was sitting there today. She forcefully stated to the crowd gathered that; “you can choose to do whatever you want with your life, but you cannot choose the consequences.”

Over the years since, I often have repeated those words in my own head, and the grayer my hair becomes, and I reminisce about my own life’s journey the more I realize that there are many roads that I have traveled down in my life that were not of my own choosing. Paths created because of the choices and decisions I have made in my life.

As I look back across the years and miles I have traveled, there are obviously many things and accomplishments that I can look upon with pride. However, it is those seemingly simple choices, many of them made in haste, which will forever haunt me in times of solitude. If the life I have lived has only taught me one lesson, it would be to never force things to happen. In fact, if you have to force it, then rest assured it most probably would be a decision that you might not like the long-term costs.

Far too often now, I find myself remembering the words and warnings of others, cautioning me not to travel the path I was taking. There were relationships that those with more information than I had, chided me early on to be more cautious and to take it slow. Never heeding those words from others, who shared my best interests, on too many occasions’, has ended in heartache.

Fortunately, I have been able to recover and move on from those times when it seemed as if all four tires blew out, and the car left the road. Unfortunately though, just like the car that runs in the ditch, a mechanic or body man may be able to repair the damage, but deep under the new coats of paint and replaced parts, the scars are still there if you only look hard enough.

You see the reckless reality of many of our choices leads us down many paths not of our own choosing. Additionally many of those paths can lead to loneliness, despair, frustration, anxiety, darkness, and if we fail to get on the right path, ultimately to our own destruction as well as many of those around us we care about the most. How many times have we all unwittingly because of our actions taken others down that same dark path with us? Have you ever watched, as someone you cared about deeply decided to take a direction you knew was destructive and laden with dangers? Do you remember just how helpless you felt, seeing their world falling apart and nothing you could say seemed to make a difference?

The gate that leads down these paths too often can seem quite beautiful and enticing, however, on the other side a look back across the shoulder often reveals gateways far less attractive than they were going in. Gone are the beautiful colors and fancy fixtures, replaced with creaky old hinges and many times dark desolate forces that seem destined to prohibit you from turning around and getting on the correct path.

In actuality, these ‘roads not of our choosing’ are in fact all of our choosing, because every choice we make in life has a consequence. Good or bad, the decisions you make right now will not only affect your life, but every person around you. That is the reason we must all learn to think through every decision we make, seek counsel from those who have already traveled many of those same paths. Above everything else, we must never forget there is always someone up above who hears and is all too able to give us just the right knowledge we need to travel through a life filled with obstacles seemingly set in our path to make us get off the direction we should be traveling.

Well thought out choices, bathed in prayer, can make the obstacles disappear, and the path clear and well illuminated. Then the roads not of our choosing will never exist in your life. As for the rest of us, the same applies, this side of the grave it is never too late to change our route and find a way that is clear. However, the same applies, always seek counsel from those with experience, and then make sure you listen to that advice, and make a commitment to do so. Then pray about every decision big or small. Our Creator God only wants what is best for each of us, and the consequences we face from bad choices are not of His, but of our own creation.