Move me in the direction of my transformation

What is this revolution in my soul that calls me to change now or die —Is it this difficult deadly and daring? Ah! I know it is —my death was coming at a furious pace

Yet my trajectory was written in the stars from the beginning of time in Your book You said

On the bus one day I had an epiphany I was taught through theological words that “You knew me before I was born”

Unknown to myself was I, during this period of my whole life while living on earth it had its downturns in ditches where I deteriorated for years.

In the sinking I determined to get up to “rise and shine”. Yes, I willed it in my embittered anguish while I languished in a horrific hell I stood perched on a precipice

It lay before me, death and suicide of the mind the soul the body the spirit—handcuffed by maddened insanity I saw blood rings on my wrist cut to the bone —oh to die to be released from deep unfathomable pain

Transform this relic that I offer you of what is left since I am dust returning of Your own making. Here I come —back back to where I truly belong with You My Maker take this heart and by some small seed signal of grace move me in the direction of the transformation

Before each person are life and death, and whichever one chooses will be given

(Sirah 15:17)