AF YOK
The title was selected in Turkish label, which was suitable for this slice of life journey: No mercy.
Chapter 1
Grief
Under full moon, glistening stars with blue swirls over navy skies, and concealed clouds; whilst, some had tint blue creases. Big brown almond eyes reflected by such shine above from Almighty,however there was no shimmer inside her. Mariana was lost in her own deep blue swirls of her past and absence in communication with her young fellows.
Years over years, she either left peers as they were uncultured and lacked in discipline , or they were too abrasive for her pious side to rebuke such involvements; drugs, usury, stirring emotions of young girls,and manipulating boys to do the same. Mariana wasn’t vacant inside so she never took a step as she was stronger. For how long?
Deep down enough till a person grew tired to dug her damage box of purity and feelings were covered by a black cloth of melancholy. Even the skies ever black to her and the sparks around each corner were boredom to her. Tears rolled down over her light brown cheeks and a deep sigh came out; she finally realised no one gaze up to her and make her as comrade.
Chapter 2
New Beginnings
Mariana cleared her throat and bit her lip as she held her cellphone over her ear:
“ This is how it all started”.
“When I first met her, I honestly struggled in my head that how should I behave in-front of her. The apparition I gave was a girl who is just confused, and I mumbled in every sentence. An adorable, talented girl with full of charisma and enthusiastic. Never seen someone in such courtesy. Sadly, what I heard about her was an opposite persona, which made me in doubt that they might be wrong.
By their talks I could tell, they glare at her with hesitation. I remained calm and pretended that I never took side as I met her once. On our second time when our families mustered for a dinner party, she walked in like a muse and there I lost my confidence; yes, she looked curvaceous and sensational that night. I got lost in her dazzling accessories along with guitar shaped curves, insomuch that at times I found myself not focused on her stories she told,until she asked me a question.
That blue hugging dress emphasis her bosom and hips, with a small cream purse that I had my eyes on, which gave me a thought to buy accessories for myself more. That day gave me a fully realised version of her, she is the opposite of the opinions people have about. She is seldom and sealed to what she is, and that was my biggest incentive in life : to fight for what you believe in.
I learned a lot about how life throws rocks on you while you have to climb to the peak of the mountain. Not just rocks, harsh climate like any other external factor whilst you have to remain in serene and give your best. That day I fully understood my life was similar too, however I came to realisation of this example.”
Kora: ”Alright, but tell me what happened on Friday night?”
“The third time I met her, and that was it: we became close as ever, like genuine sisters. There were moments were I finally able to break my shell and tried to come out, she was full of surprises and first definitely goes to her appearance. Lady in her gorgeous tousled hair with bangs covering her forehead. Her eyes? Glittery turquoise colour defining her big brown eyes. Charming and sultry. She did not wore any products on her skin,but those cheeks made me want to smile more ; cuteness overload.She was casual just like her style, and I received smiles from her like a child. It made my day. She made my day.
However, there was one moment I felt alone however not for long when her friend came, to whom I did not interposed myself too neither did her. She was lost and I took the notice. How selfish of me? I know. So, I took a step instead which was so not in my personality. I joined them. Times flies in laughing but my apprehension never paused, not even for once, although she did look into my eyes and knew I was in intricate situation ; not a habit of smiling much, nor expressing while someone makes a joke although I loved it, but it was not coming on my face. I put a lot of effort. Not even giving an eye contact to her friend; the fact he is quite mysterious, dark, tall, dishy. Definitely going to scratch out my category list.
Sadly, I had no courage to make a move on him or her even. How bleak right! The most alluring part, when we drove in his car and there I fell for him. He was gentle,caring, but taciturn like me, and easily blaze the environment when he slightly burn a tab. What about her? Her eyes gave me comfort and ease, I felt relax that moment.”
Kora :”Someone is way too excited!”
“A good day passed. Finally felt life did pushed me in a path to find happiness which was her. Happiness shattered in a swift when obstacles came. It drowned me to a dull dry place again, and no shores of happiness, people tried to cross our aisle of friendship. The never ending gossips about her and pushing me back as she is treacherous; that came to an end that they can not be trusted if they can not trust me in this friendship. More barriers dropped me to a fact that I am different and she merely understood me.
On our fourth meet up, she was caring, and a person who participates on your each step : like a mother. She is now a warmth in my life. I wish I could do more to her and to her friends she introduced me to; through her I found a true image on what good alias are like, and made me explore to another side of universe. I am grateful for having her in my life.”
Kora: “Mariana? I am glad you have a new chapter, but don’t trust them. Don’t be giver all the sudden. Although, I am here like always!”
Mariana: ” K? You sound like mum.Sh!”
Kora giggled, Mariana smiled wide but would it be a drawn out?
Chapter 3
A Month
Her blue swirls skies framed in heart shaped with purple tints every midnight, while each clouds became her upholster as she was head over heels every night, then a deep sleep till afternoon late. She befriended with Farah’s friend.
When he came along the time was right, he was a fallen angel that serve her heart right, yet generously; his gentle tone and concealed care made her uplift to those skies and there she wrote poems, with day reverie of him with sunshine rays. The fond grew fair, her heart adhere she finger pointed a decent man.
Every single word upon his lips, that hold me down to not grudge out whenever I suspected something. His generous words and purity for her was seldom which made him easier to make Mariana enter in his life, like he held her to dance for first time. His care was like one of his dancing hands: fingers wrapped softly over her long elegant ones , however where was the other?
Their bond was swift like they took faster steps in their couple dance, but where was his other hand?
Until she felt it for the first time below her waist. She finally suspected that all his late night phone talks was for his casualties, and not her comfort. Mariana, pious as ever took a step back and command him to back off the boundaries. Which was unexpected that he actually did walked out of her life with a snappish move by accepting that he was there for certain callous conduct.
After three days and one time crying in bathroom, Mariana stood up and look the past over her shoulder, however the same night Farah came and talk things out that he apologised, whilst she pictured to the broken lover : “ he is a decent man and from a good family.” The moment she left, within few minutes, he texted her an apology. Mariana took this in a pragmatic perspective in-terms of realisation that she might be to harsh on him and people learn.
However, within weeks that what she didn’t learn: he flew like a wind with her, so their harmony, days Mariana never forgets especially when he told her to let herself in, and promised that pariah will never regret. He was cool as rain. It was raining, every droplets grew their long distant love as they could not touch each other smouldering faces. All connections were hidden, just betwixt them and lovely Farah.
One day, under deep blue skies. Mariana held her tresses tightly, her brown eyes filled with sea hues, lashes wet, under eyes red. Some slim strands pulled from the roots, whilst her sharp long nails dug over those roots, till a crimson dead rind fell out. The lady wails in deep agony like her blood poured out.
Chapter 4
Sharp Knife
Chapter 5
Toy
At midnight 4am, phone made a sound which interrupted her from deep sleep. Mindless lass and confused took a deep sigh and all she could hear was the call of prayer. She cleared her throat and checked her messages, while the screen light emphasised her deep dark ravishing eyes filled with sorrow, agony, and someone who could not swim out of it.
He messaged her with an attached photo of another youngster, showing off his biceps in a gym, his visage was hidden completely. He added, “this guy is interested in you”. Commanded her straight away to talk to him without any further information of this person, not even name or affiliations.
She responded: “ Shame on you”. To which he didn’t reply and left it seen.
The outcome made her intricate that led her to delete the text, where earlier she sent it to Farah. As usual no feedback from her, where the hearty woman decided to overcome his attitude by giving him further attention, that she hoped he wasn’t upset. She urged to find the truth, and after having a doubt on him in using a woman , where first time she unleashed her anger to him about ghosting ,not being a proper and of course lying.
The blast of rage he couldn’t hold and blocked her. She called him, and he picked up after few minutes. Not even all sudden.
After passing greetings to one another:
Mariana: What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?”
Him: ”I am fine the same. I don’t think this can go longer, I am tired of being bad guy from all areas, and I get the blame at the end!”
Mariana: “.......”
Him: “ Wait, you think I discuss about you to my friends? What is wrong you? I care about you, like I care about Farah!”
However, Mariana remembers the she wasn’t treated right by him and how come he say that? He was a two face?
Him: ”We are just friends and we will always be friends, and now I need a break from you”
That popped a question on her, that she was still distant by him and now more, or his words really meant something although when she needed help, he dissed her many times, on the same token, verbally abused her and recommend others to go for some emotional grant as “he was too busy”.
He unblocked her, numbers appeared back in contact list.
She became amiable with that new person who turn out to be his best friend, and shares everything to him. Beyond Farah. Which was slight flabbergasting when Mariana got to know.
At first she appreciated his friendliness and sudden closeness to which she felt complex in deciding to initiate further, or not. The friend at first, he became all quick and shared about his past beau was the same age as Mariana, and she broke up because he wasn’t open to his life. That was the first sign Mariana thought she was still being played cleverly.
He repeated this past around two more times, and jumped to sending his gym pictures with comparison of his old blubbered images. Indeed, it was a satisfactory result,but still Mariana gut did warned: He will compare between his best friend and make his ways to be with her, or both will use her.
Mariana made a smart move to not comment on his photos, to which he got a sense that she can’t be even believed as a toy,plus Mariana forced to exaggerate her interest in his friend that moved him. The conversationalist gradually compared he is different and vibrant than him, but Mariana knew his intentions she smiled.
Chapter 6
When It Falls Down
All sudden his friend stopped talking to her, which made her question. He never replied when she asked about her friend. Every time. Every week, and only texted her late night. He knew she is busy in mornings, so his sudden replies did indicated “ he is free”, but at those hours he was right next to his best friend.
Mariana became a subject to them, vividly.
His ignorance made her confused, she asked why he stopped talking to which he replied: “ Why? Was there something happening between us?”.
This disgusted Mariana. A lot.
Both young adults avoid the lady to talk, until she again lashed out her pain to her interest. The man with contempt,uncovered the face of mockery : that he did came for his casualties and he was disgusted by her from beginning, yet was advised to be honest by someone, it was never his fault. Right after this, both blocked her at the same time.
She reached out to their third friend, Brie. However, her respond was brutish as ever instead helping her out, or fixing his friendship. Everything was concealed from Farah, unfairly. By this he lastly responded, “ stay away from my friends”.
Mariana became to rebuke all the good sides and Farah’s words, she knew the truth. Farah, as usual didn’t continue the communication.
The friend, who gradually blamed her to be an over thinker and made her believe by putting him and his friend to be innocent in exterior, meanwhile not spilling a single word from his mouth to his alleged diary, Farah.
Mariana knew Farah will never understand, because she loves him and will never consider this seriously over his friend evolved into treacherous creature for young lasses, and indulging his friends, proudly. She was hung by them for months and months,she couldn’t wait to end all this. Mariana grew in all regrets and dislike herself for even trusting these monsters for a happy chapter called : friendships. This twisted into something disobedience.
Everyday, the pure woman prayed whether they are meant to be, valiantly adhere there is no one for her or ever she had good friends. Mariana was always been treated like a toy. From God, she asked for protection, mercy, and evade from these munafiqs (hypocrite in Arabic)
If humans can not respect their so called love ones, which are His creatures. That means, they are indifferent to Him in many ways.
Chapter 7
Drop It!
A massive energy shift inside Mariana made her rose gallantly to her senses, and with ascertain of the facts that she was never wrong, these people were blind folded. All the verbal abuses and discriminating her humbleness, and giving them chances was not her follies.
Mariana became strong, but did slipped each time. One afternoon, taciturn Mariana threw all the burdens and truth by one call and a long passage about them to Farah, to which she read and took baby steps in action. However, Mariana didn’t appreciated her directions, for her side she could have been more forward about this, Farah took her heartbreak very idled.
Lady in sorrow finally made a breakthrough after her prayer and put everything to an end with Farah after four months of wait and observation:
Pain and many rains,
Congratulations
Few people she trusted
She wanted to love deep down
In return
They were not one of them
They burned my heart
There is a huge flame in this year of love
She dropped all the feelings for Farah, but she stood to chase her before repentance does. However, it’s a test from the spirits whether she takes the vulnerable Mariana in concern, or have no pardon repeatedly. Mariana remains in speculation that her folly friend is not rigid by his sudden change: he had no mercy for the goods.
Meanwhile, Brie was stuck in her own miseries of friendship and past tragedies, although Farah and him were backbone. Instead helping the meagre that could gain some blessings in her life, her circumstances grew unapologetic prolonging this incident.
What about him?
“He drained out of inner joy. He became hopeless, and whenever he calls Farah and she mentions the name of Mariana. He became silent as grave, and captivated in his cage of guilt, stint a slave of wrongdoers and nowhere to share his feelings, apologies, and regaining another moment to the goods. Deep down he had no peace and pardon”.