Jack and Loz at the Cottage When Mitro Scored a First Half Hat Trick - Blog 189

Date: 29th September 2021

Opposition: Swansea City

Score: 3-1

Fulham goal scorer: 🔥🔥🔥

Weather: autumnal

Atmosphere: ecstatic, concerned, relieved

MOTM: there is only one choice. A first half hat trick, 10 goals in 10 games, the Mitro we know and love is back and blazing through Championship defences. Shout-outs to his 3 assistants, Messrs Ream, Kebano and Odoi for, respectively, their leadership, dynamism and all round excellence

Pub: the Blue Boat

Matches featuring a hat trick in one half are rare. They should also be extraordinarily enjoyable. Unfortunately, whilst Mitro’s goals were celebrated as they deserved to be, Fulham somehow conspired to make what looks like a triumphant win a nerve racking experience for their devoted fans.

Things began well with widespread approval of Marco’s team selection including starts for Kebano and Joe Bryan. The match started promisingly too with Fulham looking pacy and focused. The fast, sharp passes were back; the full backs and wingers were committed to flinging balls into the box and Mitro was menacing the Swansea defence from the off.

Of course the goals were superb. It wasn’t a Perfect Hat Trick but it was a perfect hat trick with each goal expertly crafted and deftly finished. Mitro scored the goals but he didn’t make them; all 3 were team goals and each better than the last.

- Tim Ream’s powerful, arching header; Mitro’s skill as he controlled the ball while flirting with the offside rule then his unstoppable shot

- Joe Bryan bursting forward, his skimming pass, Kebano’s well-timed cross, and Mitro untangling himself from the defender to finish the job with his left foot

- Seri to Bobby to Harry to Denis; two touches and an in swinging cross; one touch and a predator’s goal

Yes, there were other good moments - everything Seri did in the first half, nearly everything Kebano did all match, Muniz’s audacious attempted chip, a few second half attacking moves - but in and around these there was reckless defending, poor decision making, comical goalkeeping and the constant, gnawing anxiety that a two goal lead wasn’t going to be enough.

We know that, in part, the second half change of style and shape was due to Joe Bryan going off but that shouldn’t have meant a change in ability for everyone else. At one point Marco looked like a man with petrol rage, tearing down the side line to berate his chaotic defence. At another he had a piece of paper in his hand on which he had almost certainly written Triangulo do ruina. As for Swansea’s goal, the only surprise was that the player wasn’t laughing too much to score it - Fulham’s defence looked like that moment at the circus when the clown car’s wheels fall off.

Obviously, this is somewhat problematic. Whilst you can’t argue with the result or the fact that Fulham deserved the win, it is odd that a team which can score 3 absolutely stunning goals in about 30 minutes, spent the other 60 making hard work of managing a lively but weaker opponent.

We have to mention Gazzaniga here, and not in a good way. He only had one thing to do in the first half and he turned it into a disaster. He improved later on but surely he must be on his final warning by now. Rodak has first class Championship credentials and it’s time his name went back to the top of the team sheet.

At the moment, it feels like you don’t know what you’re going to get in any given match. There is no routine, no comfort zone. We’ve had the businesslike win over Hull, the sweeping win over Stoke, the impressive win at Birmingham, the almost-a-draw win at Millwall, the disappointing draws, the frustrating defeats. Whilst this means life is never dull as a Fulham fan and that we always have the weapon of surprise in our armoury, it’s doesn’t instil confidence.

As we all know, you don’t have to be the best team to win the Championship, you have to be the most consistent. Fulham are probably the best team in the Championship but also probably the most inconsistent. And therein lies the key to the season.

Random musings:-

- was there a whiff of tinned salmon about the Swansea kit?

- it was great to see one of Fulham’s Paralympic heroes, Chad Perris, on the pitch at half time

- when Alfie Mawson was warming up he had no one to play with so had to the kick the ball into the hoardings, teenage style

- the ref had a good game overall but was dishing out free kicks with a very free hand to Swansea as the game wore on

- “What a waste of petrol!”

- you simply cannot beat a night game at Craven Cottage for atmosphere, intensity or emotion.

As well as showcasing Mitro’s talents, Wednesday’s win shoots us back up the table into third place. After several games in which we were creating shances but not taking them, the attack is back to its electrifying best. As for the defence, credit is due for defending the lead against a resilient Swansea team. If they’d conceded another we would have been thrown back to the last time Mitro scored a hat trick and we very nearly lost to Luton, victims of our own panic.

But this win wasn’t as convincing as the score suggests. Our brilliant start lulled us into a false sense of security. This season isn’t going to be easy. But we are Fulham, and nothing ever is.