MY ASTRO

Prologue

Difficult Aspects Currently Unlisted:

Saturn Opposition Midheaven

Sun Square North Node

Chapter 1

CHIRON/SUN SQUARE

The Wounding: A wound to the sun-self, creativity or yang principle. Taking on the father’s wound. Fear of one’s creativity. Feeling betrayed or wounded by the father/father principle.

Parental/environmental Message: “I don’t approve of your showing off, of you shining so brightly.”

Internalised Message: “I am afraid to shine / I don’t feel complete unless I shine.”

Healing the Wound: Self-esteem work. Inner child work. Developing confidence. All forms of creative expression. Sunflower and Iris flower essences.

The Gift: Creativity. Working with children. Leadership.

With this configuration in the natal chart, one’s sense of self may have been challenged by one’s sense of pathos. In other words, the space of pity and care opened in the soul as a result of the Chironic wound does not seem to directly connect to the ego structure, and in fact, may be at odds with it. This may lead the individual to feel an unfathomable degree of loneliness, which is different from the loneliness associated with Neptune or Saturn:

Neptunian loneliness has a hint of spiritual pleasure in it. It is similar to the loneliness of monks who cut themselves off from the material world in order to attain higher pleasures of the spiritual world.

Saturnian loneliness is usually imposed, i.e. the individual has not chosen it, but the external conditions require it. It is similar to the loneliness of a jailed man who has to endure a period of isolation as punishment for a crime.

Chironic loneliness, associated with this particular configuration in the natal chart, is similar to the loneliness of Jesus on the cross: he knew he had to “pity” those who put him on the cross, and in that knowledge, he was feeling cut off from the ordinary, imperfect crowd, as he could never be one of them. There was no Neptunian pleasure for him in being crucified (if we consider his mortal side as a man, similar to Nikos Kazantzakis’ version of him). He had no other option, even if he seemingly chose to be crucified: he had to do what he had to do, and in doing that, he was lonely. The metaphoric Sun/Son on the cross would be an apt image symbolizing the psychological aspect of Sun Chiron square.

From a psychological point of view, an individual with this configuration in her natal chart may experience the father or prominent male figures in a similar manner: she may have to pity them for their imperfection, and yet she can never extend this pity to herself in order to soothe the wounded ego she has developed as a result of the woundedness of these male figures in her life. The result is an inexplicable sense of loneliness, which will prevent the individual from fully identifying with her parental or ancestral line despite the sympathy she may feel for them.

As the individual grows older, however, this Chironic gap between the head and the heart may seem easier to handle. The individual may develop a sophisticated understanding of her relationship with her father, a parental figure, her homeland or her roots. She may be able to use this understanding in helping others come to terms with a similar sense of loneliness or to use the psychological push generated in her psyche doing good work in the world without having an ego-centric necessity to be identified as the active agent behind such work.

Core belief: Being me is wrong, I should hide

Chiron and Sun in aspect represent a deep wounding to the ego, possibly through the father. Sometimes the father was wounding, sometimes the father was mostly wounded, and gave an example or simple, a DNA. With Chiron in aspect to Sun, there is a difficulty in being oneself and it can reflect in the life of the person by mysterious diseases (especially with Chiron inconjunct Sun). What is going on with this Chiron - Sun is that the person for a reason or another, grew up feeling that there was something quite not right with them; made to feel that being themselves was painful, and therefore there is a natural tendency to withdraw, as being oneself is difficult.

The Sun represents our conscious identity and overall - how we see ourselves. With Chiron and Sun in contact, we see ourselves as wounded, and therefore we might project as well a wounded image. Positively, we can see ourselves as healers, and we might very well be. The wound and the gift lie in the solar plexus and the heart, work around these chakras and concept will help with mending the wound.

There are other scenarios possible, but the result is always the same: There is a difficulty in truly being yourself, expressing yourself, asserting yourself as an individual, and exploring your creative capacities.

Creativity can be blocked, ego issues can block some relationships and possible achievements. With Chiron - Sun contacts we can see people with fluctuating confidence -

and the reason is this one; the self-esteem and self-concept are wounded.

On the plus side, Chiron - Sun represents the capacity to build other people up, show them their own value, their own qualities. Someone with Chiron - Sun contacts in the natal chart can really bring warmth and joy in other people because that is what they really wanted for themselves.

Recommended reading:

Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets

Honoring the self: A book on self-esteem

Creativity: Flow and psychology of creativity

With Chiron-Sun hard aspects, for example, we tend to feel ineffective when it comes to expressing our creativity. In youth especially, there is a shyness about performing, about “being seen”, about being allowed to shine. These are children who hide their work in school or in art class. Very often, they are “middle children”, and feel that their creativity was stifled in youth! People with these aspects often worry unnecessarily about their performance, and are often left feeling devastated when they are criticized. They are often very good at boosting others’ confidence, yet neglect to build their own! This is where the “teacher” side of Chiron comes into play. People with strong Chiron are often very good at inspiring others, giving them pep talks, offering very friendly and sincere advice, and so forth–yet they have a hard time healing themselves.

II.

CHIRON/MERCURY SQUARE

The Wounding: A communication wound. Feeling misunderstood and unable to communicate.

Parental/environmental Message: “We don’t like the way you communicate.”

Internalised Message: “You don’t understand me. You don’t listen to me. I am dumb.”

Healing the Wound: Singing, public speaking, chanting, writing, playing a musical instrument. Creative expression of sound. Throat chakra unblocking and healing. Practice of Right Speech and Thought. Snapdragon and Calendula flower essences.

The Gift: The ability to understand others and to teach the art of effective communication and problem solving.

“In order to understand the world one has to turn away from it on occasion.”

– Albert Camus

With this configuration in the natal chart, our perception may have been deeply conditioned by our understanding of the wounding process involved in making sense of the world or connecting to others on an intellectual plane. We may constantly be aware of how wounding it is just to reach out, communicate our views, connect to those around us, or simply exchange ideas in written or spoken form.

The renowned French writer and philosopher Albert Camus, who had this placement in his natal chart, wrote novels and plays depicting Chiron conditioning Mercurial functions: the protagonist of his celebrated novel, The Stranger, is judged as a detached misanthrope for not showing enough emotions regarding his mother’s death, which eventually encourages the court to issue his death sentence in a murder trial. In another novel, The Plague, Camus portrays the individual’s lack of power and subsequent immobility in the face of an epidemic disease. In one of his plays, TheMisunderstanding, family members are utterly incapable of communicating with one another. Regardless of details, all three texts share the same Chironic theme: how we awkwardly try to connect, move, or express ourselves and we tragically fail at that.

From a psychological point of view, an individual with this configuration in her natal chart may experience profound empathy for a sibling, friend, teacher, relative, or someone else in the immediate environment. Such figures may have displayed certain Chironic characteristics and the individual may have decided to “take care” of them because of their vulnerability or limitations. In a way, through caring for such figures, the individual is “mothering” her own psychological wounds, hoping to heal and somehow become acceptable, presentable, or lovable.

One has to be careful, though, not to “nestle into pain” as the Icelandic singer Bjork, who has this placement in her natal chart, sings:

It’s sometimes just like sleeping

Curling up inside my private tortures

I nestle into pain

Hug suffering

Caress every ache.

One may make sense of the world through the process of nursing one’s wounds. The wound is to evolve, however, from a comfort zone to a zone of awareness and empathy.

Core belief: I am not smart enough

Chiron and Mercury in contact in the birth chart often talk about mental difficulties. Whether it's actual mental disorders and illnesses or impairments, or just fears of.

Often the person feels somewhat impaired when it comes to their communication and mental function: Someone feels insecure because of their way of speaking, because of their accent, because of the way their brain learns, processes and memorizes. It doesn't have to be an actual impairment, sometimes the person is just made to feel that way.

Often what we see with this aspect is simpler than that. It's often someone who was made to feel, for a reason or another, "less than" intellectually. Perhaps their ideas were mocked, invalidated, dismissed - but the belief growing up is that their intellectual capacities or communication capacities are impaired. Sometimes it's true and it is something to overcome, like a language impairment, sometimes it's purely psychological.

There is the possibility of trouble with siblings, here again, whether because the sibling was actually wounding or because the person feels in competition with the sibling. Sometimes it's simply that the relationship with a sibling created a wound: Perhaps they had to take care of their siblings in a way that was too taxing for their young self, perhaps a sibling is in danger, or ill - or they were favoured and it created wounding envy.

Overall there is a lack of confidence in one's intellectual capacities and it's really a work of building yourself up until you feel confident expressing yourself and communicating.

Chiron - Mercury can heal themselves often through communicating their pain, whether it's by writing, drawing, singing, or just speaking about it. Being vocal about the Chiron's wound is often seen and they show others the way to healing.

Recommended reading:

Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets

“Driven to distraction": A book on ADHD as I have found Mercury - Chiron to be a high occurrence in cases of ADHD / ADD

With Chiron-Mercury aspects, we may rarely feel satisfied with how or what we communicate. To express ourselves, or not to express ourselves–that is the question with Chiron-Mercury hard aspects. We may talk someone’s ears off one day, and then feel guilty about it later, at which point we retreat into ourselves and become uncommunicative. We might review conversations we had with others and kick ourselves for what we said, or what we didn’t say.

III.

CHIRON/VENUS SQUARE

The Wounding: A wound in the area of relationships. Wounded partners. Taking on the wounds of others. Grief, loss of the loved one or beloved. Wounded in love or wounding others in love. Feeling unloved. A wound to the heart.

Parental/environmental Message: “Our love is conditional. We will love you if…”

Internalised Message: “I don’t like, appreciate or approve of myself. I am unlovable. Nobody loves me.”

Healing the Wound: All experiences of unconditional love. Heart chakra healing. The practice of forgiveness and compassion. The path of Bhakti Yoga (Devotion). Devotional music. Massage and touching. Reiki. The practice of Right Human Relationships. Holly and Borage flower essences. Rose essential oil.

The Gift: The ability to help others heal their relationships. Counselling. Diplomacy. Love.

Chiron Venus: Square**

“What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

With this configuration in the natal chart, our sensual experiences, self-appreciation and immediate needs may have been deeply conditioned by our understanding of the wounding process involved in relating to the material world or to our early care-takers. We may constantly be aware of how awkward it is to own anything (including our own body)or to need anyone (including our own mother or father).

From a psychological point of view, an individual with this configuration in her natal chart may experience profound empathy for a lover or a parental figure (usually the parent with more artistic inclination or highlighted Venus in his or her own chart).These individuals may have had their own “yin” functions wounded one way or the other: a parental figure or a beloved partner may have never had a chance to follow his or her “bliss,” to fulfill his or her creative potential or, on a more primal level, to feel deserving of appreciation.

More often than not, the individual tends to “heal” the Chironic theme present in a parentthrough falling in love with people who carry a similar wound and then encouraging them to address the wound. For example, a woman who has had an artistically-inclined father who never had a chance to pursue his dream career will feel attracted to a man who may be trapped in a traditional job while dreaming of becoming a musician or a painter. She will then start supporting him and even encouraging him to leave the safe job and pursue his artistic dreams. Through this gesture, she is probably attempting to “heal” this wound in her father, and in a way, in herself, but she may not be conscious of this process.

Chiron in aspect to Venus in the natal chart may also symbolize wounds regarding money or material possessions. Again, a parental figure may be the carrier of this wound, and the individual may simply reenact it in her relationships or love affairs.

In either case, individuals with this configuration in their birth chart can act as loving conduits for the unrecognized artistic or creative tendencies present in their partners, friends or clients. They are capable of forming relationships in which the other feels appreciated and valued. As these individuals grow older, they become more appreciative of their own talents and the beauty embedded in the material existence.

Core belief: Love hurts

Chiron - Venus in the natal chart is almost always way more about the relationship to oneself than the relationship to others. With this aspect in the chart, until the person builds a healthy relationship with themselves and healthy self-esteem, healthy self-worth, they will repeatedly end up in relationships in which the partner ends up provoking some additional wounding. With Chiron and Venus, the person is really asked to love themselves because somewhere down the road they were made to feel like they didn't deserve to be loved unconditionally, that maybe they weren't lovable at all or weren't "good enough" to get the kind of love they want and deserve. These beliefs impair the capacity to build healthy relationships, but also the capacity to earn the income they would wish for. Our capacity to earn money is directly related to what we believe we deserve, and with Chiron in aspect to Venus, this belief can be quite distorted.

Often, relationships are painful - but not so much because of a mystical curse, more so because the person has such an ingrained expectation that love hurts, that they are subconsciously attracted to people who are wounding, and wounded. It also appeals to Chiron healing powers, as the person can end up dedicating their energy to healing someone else, instead of mending their own heart.

On the plus side, you'll find Chiron - Venus in the charts of love coaches, coaches in general, and relationship counsellors as often the person becomes quite skilled at the things for which they experienced pain.

Recommended reading:

Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets

"Healing the core wound of worthiness"

The New Codependency: A book on healing codependent relationships

Honoring theself: A book on self-esteem

With Chiron-Venus aspects, there is a tendency to give, and give, and give again in close personal and love relationships, and a tremendous fear of rejection from a lover. No matter how much these people do for a partner, they never feel it is enough. Early experiences of rejection or other problem relationships helps these people to learn a tremendous amount about love and relationships, and they can easily be turned to for very insightful advice about human interactions. Applying this wisdom on a personal level is the challenge, as Chiron-Venus people need to first heal their own deep fears of not being “good enough”. They need to learn to love themselves and to make sure their partners are meeting them halfway. They might also be attracted to partners who need help, but with the hard aspects, it might be hard to get back the same kind of attention or appreciation.

IV.

CHIRON/SATURN OPPOSITION

The Wounding: A wound to one’s sense of structure, achievement and confidence. Fear of one’s power. Fear of taking one’s place in the world. The father is wounded or a wounding influence. Taking on the father’s wound. Deep inner fears and rigidity. Seriousness and insecurity.

Parental/environmental Message: “I am the boss. I know what is best for you.”

Internalised Message: “There is a voice inside me that criticises and judges me. It’s my fault.”

Healing the Wound: The path of Karma Yoga (Service). Right Livelihood. Fulfilling one’s dharma or life purpose. Wild Oat, Larch and Mimulus flower essences.

The Gift: The ability to accept responsibility and positions of authority. Wisdom.

Core belief: I am inadequate

Chiron opposite Saturn is usually quite typical of a very wounding relationship to the father and/or to authority figures in general. Often, the father was tyrannical, unfair, wounding, and/or simply absent or wounded himself.

With Chiron – Saturn, we find someone who can have extreme fears of being judged, overall, someone who experiences strong fear of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, constant feeling of not being enough, undeserving, imperfect. Often, we’ll find someone who can be extremely judgemental towards others as well, rejecting others, being harsh on others – this being simply a representation of how they were treated growing up, how they treat themselves

With this Chiron - Saturn (frequently we find Chiron opposite Saturn) there is a strong tendency to try to achieve and work hard, tirelessly, to mend the original wound of inadequacy. Fear of rejection is often a strong wound too, and even more so if we find Chiron in Libra or in the 7th House.

We can also find trouble with authority figures in general, government, bosses - as they are associated with the tyrannical energy, objective or subjective, which was experienced as a child.

Here we’re working on undoing all of the fears, all of the negative core beliefs (I’m not enough, I will be rejected, I will fail, I don’t deserve it, it won’t happen, people will judge me, etc).

Recommended reading:

Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner & Outer Planets

Honoring the self: A book on self-esteem

"Healing the core wound of worthiness"

"Perfect Women: Hidden Fears of Inadequacy and the Drive to Perform"

The other placement that I see a lot in my clients is Saturn opposite Chiron. A lot of the people who come to me have this placement. It’s not an usual or unusual transit but I’ve gone weeks where every single client I have will have this placement. I don’t usually track Chiron too much, since it has no rulership, and only keep track of its sign, house, and relation to Saturn. When Saturn is opposite Chiron in the natal chart, I’ve found that people tend to shoulder the traumas and issues of their family. They tend to feel that they are solely responsible for healing the family’s inherited trauma. Sometimes, people with the Saturn in opposition to Chiron will literally take on debts from the family. They might make decisions to play certain roles in the world, going to school or choosing certain professions, as a reaction to ancestral trauma. Maybe their ancestors had their knowledge stolen from them—the person with Saturn opposite Chiron will feel an intense feel to excel academically. Maybe their ancestors starved—Saturn opposite Chiron might be compulsive about saving or have questions around what is the right amount for a person to consume. Saturn opposite Chiron issues are like that. When a person has Saturn opposite Chiron, it’s important for them to understand that, like with all Saturn issues, you don’t solve ancestral problems on your own. Your ancestors don’t want you to replay exactly what it is that they went through and suffer the same way. They want you to take your own existence seriously. Sometimes, for Saturn opposite Chiron people, families only represent pain. It’s hard for them to conceive of a family that embodies pleasure, love, or safety. They might grow attached to certain family structures because it’s supposed to shield them against some kind of pain while perpetuating another kind. Because families are defined by pain for Saturn opposite Chiron people, they can forget that imagining joy is a part of healing. They tend to see healing only as the removal of pain. It’s easy for Saturn opposite Chiron people to get trapped at home, working to pay off their family’s debt or redeem their family’s purpose. They can do this while also feeling very alienated from the family. They often take on the role of not fitting in with the family but having a singular sort of responsibility to solve the problematic impulses that everyone else is just acting out. While Saturn indicates where the issues tend to come out, Chiron in the opposition indicates where the actual pain is located. Someone with Saturn in Capricorn opposite Chiron in Cancer might feel like they’re constantly being made responsible for things that aren’t under their control but the Chiron position indicates that they might put themselves in these situations where they’re masochistically worrying about everyone because they need to feel needed. Saturn in Aquarius might always feel like they’re left out of things and like they’re left behind or disposable but Chiron in Leo indicates that they too often assume that being alone equals safety and that wanting acceptance and love is too big of a risk for them to take. Anytime someone has Saturn opposite Chiron, there’s a wound. As with all wounds, trying to force the wound to release itself will do nothing. When someone has a wound, you have to be gentle with it. Being gentle around the wound, while indicating that you know it’s there, encourages people to release the wound on their own. Telling them that their reactions are wrong or that their mindset is toxic makes them hang onto the wound adamantly.

SATURN OPPOSITE CHIRON

IN THE EARTH & WATER SIGNS

People with Saturn in the earth signs and Chiron in the water signs are experiencing ancestral problems through the types of resources that they’re able to find and own. They might feel like they’re not sure of what they deserve or that they don’t deserve to exist in any part of the world. The Chiron placement represents where the shame lives. Chiron in the water signs means that these people feel shame when they are not needed by other people. This means that these people can sometimes satisfy other people by fitting into roles that people seem to need but actually create codependency. When they let this happen, they become someone else’s workhorse. They become someone else’s target for punishment. Saturn opposite Chiron with Saturn in the earth signs people need to realize that, sometimes, people don’t need them in the ways that they say they do.

V.

LINKS

https://www.lookupthestars.com/post/chiron-in-aspect-in-the-natal-chart

https://www.aplaceinspace.net/pages/chiron/chiron-healing-pathway-personal-global-reconciliation

https://www.alicesparklykat.com/articles/107/Saturn_Opposite_Chiron/

SATURN

https://www.elsaelsa.com/forum/astrology/difficult-saturn-aspects-in-a-natal-chart/

Natal Saturn in the 4th House

With your natal Saturn in your 4th house, you may have a hard time expressing a mothering attitude. You don’t know how to nurture other people, most likely because you didn’t get that yourself growing up. Some of you may try to go to the extreme, and nurture too much to make up for it. You have to learn how to be encouraging and supportive of the people that you care about, and how to open up about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be something that you hate or that’s uncomfortable for you. Over time, you get used to it.

VI.

SATURN SQUARE ASCENDANT

The Ascendant and Saturn in a square aspect indicate some difficulty in expressing yourself as freely as you would like. You tend to be hesitant and reserved when meeting new people, a reaction that you find intensely frustrating since you don’t feel that you are getting across the real you. Perhaps when you were a child you felt unable to express yourself openly to to your parents, your natural childhood enthusiasm had to be tempered with rules and limitations on your behaviour. The importance of living up to your duties and responsibilities has been programmed into you from an early age, but often you feel that this conflicts with your need to be yourself. Success in your career and stability in your home life are important to you and will be achieved, eventually, but you may have many struggles and disappointments before you finally get there

fugitiveumbrellas.com/2018/09/28/loneliness-isolation-and-emotional-walls-saturn-in-aspect-to-the-moon-or-ascendant/amp/

SUTURN SQUARE ASCENDANT

Do you know anyone who is always the odd man out, the one who is always alone, and even when they try to fit in, simply cannot do it? You wonder why this person just can’t fall in line, just can’t get along, just can’t manage to make friends or be part of the group. You do everything you can, but it just doesn’t work. Whether by circumstance or personality, or both, some people simply just end up alone, loners, weirdos, awkward. They make people uncomfortable because they’re uncomfortable. It’s like they don’t know what to do in a social situation or they obviously don’t want to be there.

It’s really the simplest thing in the world to make friends, isn’t?

Almost all of these people also grew up somehow isolated from their peers as children, either due to geography, religious or political dogma of the parents, poverty, or physical characteristics.

One thing you notice with these people is that they perpetuate the isolation by making choices that will isolate them. They know how to be the scapegoat, the weirdo, the iconoclast, the contrarian. Many of them will actively keep people away. They don’t learn to socialize the way others do, so they never really learn how to be intimate. They may still try too hard to impress others or don’t try hard enough.

Like with a lot of Saturn aspects, the self-punishment that it brings has a start in early life. For example, those with Saturn in harsh aspect to Mars become cowards often because someone was always harping on every bold or independent move they ever made, or were so threatened by the child’s energy and independence that they decided that the best thing to do was to kill the natural Martian expression through fear or oppression.

Likewise, Saturn in harsh aspect to the Moon or Ascendant usually starts in childhood. Commonly, one or both parents is abusive and neglectful. The individual child may be targeted especially for deprivation; the child can’t have what the other children get, whether it’s affection, freedom, or trust. The child may also be forced to toughen up or to learn harsh lessons by a dysfunctional parent who thinks that treating a child harshly prepares them for a harsh world. What this actually does is teach the child that if even the parent doesn’t love them, then no one will, and if the parent can’t be trusted, there is no one to trust.

They may be scapegoats for other people’s problems, and they are conditioned to blame themselves when anything goes wrong. What ends up happening is that whenever something goes wrong, they automatically look guilty, and they’re thus blame. Since they have no one who will protect them or advocate for them, all they can do is accept whatever comes their way. They can’t win, so they may very well hate other people and want nothing to do with them. They may also learn to manipulate and use people for their own gain if there are other factors favorable to it. If they’re still in the doormat phase of the Saturn-Moon or Saturn-Ascendant aspect, they may still be trying to make their peace with humanity by accepting that others will wipe their feet on them, but there could be a silver lining or some material gain in it. After all, they have no loyalty to anyone, so

II.

JUPITER

Jupiter Pluto: Square

With this configuration in the natal chart, one’s personal philosophy or ideological orientation may have been challenged by one´s karmic habits or ancestral patterns. Alternatively, one may have inherited a belief system which is at odds with one´s instinctual response to life, or one´s deep-rooted tendencies may have been surmised as incompatible with one’s spiritual, religious or intellectual ambitions.

At its best, this energy exchange between Pluto and Jupiter can invoke an ideological consideration of what is inexplicable, irrational or impulsive. At its worst, it can indicate suppression of personal ideology because of certain inherited patterns of behavior or psychosexual predispositions.

In some cases, one’s ideology may act as a security blanket, helping one get a grip on the inherent insecurity of existence. In other cases, relying on a belief system may provide the necessary means for dealing with what has been pre-maturely arrested or over-developed in one’s psyche