Joey's Staggeringly Stupid Statement

Was there ever a more ineffectual creature on God's earth than TOWIE's Joey Essex? He's been recently quoted as saying, "I was the most uncleverest person in my school but now I'm the cleverest person in the world".

I take it his degree with honours came from the University of Narcissistic Cretins & Imbeciles in the city of Stupidville.

Oh, and apparently his house is a homage to his celebrity Z list, self reverential status with crocodile skins adorning the walls along with a headboard on his bed in the shape of a crown.

......words frankly fail me!

Honestly, I can't for the life of me think why ANY woman would entertain the prospect of going out with him. I can only imagine he has a massive cock to make up for his foetal like intellect, pigeon chest, short arse, perma-tan and twig legs. Mind you, his girlfriends haven't exactly been known to boast Oxford Doctorates have they?

I can only surmise that it would be like dating your kid brother after he'd had one too many Tizers!

Did I mention I think he's a right thick cunt? I don't think you'd get tired of saying it and he makes it seem like an artform!