Make It Work

i was always stuck in the middle of an affliction between knowing i deserved more and wanting you to be what you wouldn't. "make it work, make it work" sirens through my head as i beg myself not to get up and leave. you turned my smile into a dull ray of moonshine, so dim the light produced was barely enough to light up a small dark cellar. my skin crawled as if covered in ants every time you placed your hands on me. "make it work, make it work" echoes through my brain as you slowly strip layers of my clothing off and i was entirely numb. you kissed me and i didn't feel it, you touched me and i didn't feel it. you had the apparition of a ghost when you touched me and i could not feel it. you'd say i'm pretty and i'd never even hear you. you said you love me but your words were coated in lies and i just couldn't force myself to be so naive. i could smell her on you, taste her on your lips, see marks on your skin that i did not leave. "make it work, make it work" rings and tears my brain to pieces when i realized you used to be a well oiled machine that worked at super speed but now you are missing bolts, gears, switches, and you don't operate the same. you're broken and you're just not working for me anymore. it just can't work, it cannot work. the siren saying "it can" ends and i felt the shackles release because i deserve better, i can be free and that is exactly what i will be.